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School

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Spidersneakers, Jan 30, 2023.

  1. Spidersneakers

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    I cant stand it. Everyone either treats me like a disease or a fucking baby. It takes so much energy to get up and prepare myself for the constant dysphoria every day. Im never relaxed at any point in the school day it’s exhausting.

    We started a new semester which means i pretty much introduce myself to everyone. Im closeted to my family and I haven’t found the right name yet. I hate answering to it in attendance, i hate the stares, raising my hand as they repeat my name over and over, and then laugh when they see its me.
    I hate gym too. they asked us to line up boys and girls to find our lockers and i had to go in the girls line. Immediately everyone found out im trans and avoided me like the fucking plague. I need to use a stall to change but what will i do when theyre all occupied? There’s so much more but there’s no use writing it.

    I dont know what to do, i need to come out if i want to change my name but my parents wont be accepting. I cant take this, i dont want to be different. I dont want to be that kid. I dont want my high school experience to be ruined because of this. No one gets how how trans people feel and want to be treated, but they dont even try to understand either. Even other lgbtq people i know get it wrong and it feels so isolating.

    Please let me know if it gets better, or if there’s anything i can do to help it. Thank you for reading
     
  2. quebec

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    Spidersneakers.....Being different is always difficult. That's why those of us who are different try so hard to hide it. We want to be the real us, but we know we won't be accepted so instead we hide and pretend that we're just like everyone else. And that eats us up inside. Been there done that and nearly made a really big mistake that would have solved nothing and hurt everybody. You ask if it gets better...and yes it can. I thought that I was trapped, unable to ever come out and unable to go on living a lie. The wonderful people here on Empty Closets helped me when I needed it the most. It took some time, but with their help and the help of a wonderful therapist, the last eight years have been so much better than what I had before. Reach out for help! Call the Trevor hotline...I don't know what the phone number is in Canada...but you can do a quick search for it and I'm sure you'll find it. You need support and if your parents won't accept you then find that support somewhere else. I'm sure that you have watched trans youtubers...but just in case, here are some favorites of mine that you might like: FtM: Alex Bertie, Jammidodger, Noah Finnce, Luke Wale, Sam Collins, Ty Turner, Dakota Aspen. Check out the forum here that is titled "Gender Identity and Orientation". There are people there who have gone through some of the things that are probably the same or similar to what you are facing. Remember that we do care!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  3. Jakebusman

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    It does get better I knew I was Bi during middle and high school years but never came out or acted on it because of the way kids would talk about gay people figured it wasnt worth having to deal with that and waited till I was a adult at 29 to come out
     
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  4. chicodeoro

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    Spidersneakers, it gets better. Much better. I remember being 15 and HATING having to be around a load of stupid immature people and just longing to be in adult company, the promised land where people are polite, articulate, thoughtful and have perspective beyond the next f***ing five minutes.

    School days are something to be endured, rather than enjoyed. The key thing is to survive intact. You have the rest of your life to come out fully, become the person you want to be and, hopefully, flourish.

    Hugs, Beth x
     
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  5. Rayland

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    It does get better. This has nothing to do with gender, but it's an example. I was bullied in until 9th grade not because of gender, but just because they hated my face, after that I went to a different high school and no one bullied me. People do become more mature and grow up and learn from mistakes. I was always picked last to teams, since I was bad at gym, but after graduation I didn't had to deal with all this anymore. What I liked about my high school was that everyone got treated as adults and I was much happier there and in uni no one really cares either. People have too much their own worries to deal with.
     
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  6. Incoming

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    The reason adults like me say it gets better - based on our own experiences - is not because the world suddenly becomes a humane place and cruel people get banished to Siberia. The world doesn't really change.

    What changes is that you yourself, and the other kids around you, start having more options and more independence. You're no longer trapped with the same people most of the day in a tiny class room or a suffocating household.

    Other kids start paying less attention to you because they, too, have more options - they're dating, applying to college, looking for jobs, or getting drivers licenses and cars. They might have more money to spend, and thus more distractions. Hopefully the same will be true for you.
     
  7. SyIveon

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    As a fellow student, I relate a lot to this. My advise: Just surround yourself with people who accept you, and befriend them.
     
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