1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Embracing your homosexuality

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by eron, Jan 11, 2023.

  1. eron

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2018
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    221
    Location:
    Utah
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm still in the closet but slowly slipping out and fully accept that I'm gay with no feelings of guilt or remorse. In fact, I really like it. Just curious to hear from those in a similar position how they embrace their homosexuality. Recently, while in a foreign city, I visited a gay cafe and had an enjoyable time just thinking about being out and open, at least from my perspective at that time. Even caught a guy checking me out, which I really liked too. LOL.
     
  2. Enzo46

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2022
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    137
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I too am coming out of the closet. Am recently separated from my wife following coming out and am now fairly open to people. i have just been away for a weekend abroad with a « boyfriend » and loved the fact that we were an obvious couple and people treated us as such. I really want to live life as an openly gay man.
     
    Bud, Gayhusband and Gay Brett like this.
  3. Gay Brett

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2021
    Messages:
    127
    Likes Received:
    207
    Location:
    San Francisco
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So nice to hear you enjoying your homosexuality. As a gay man myself I know how you feel. I greatly enjoy being seen as someone who is obviously attracted to men.
     
    Gayhusband and Enzo46 like this.
  4. Enzo46

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2022
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    137
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It’s strange, isn’t it? Do you think that it’s because we have bottled up our homosexuality for so long but I get a definite kick out of people knowing I am gay and seeing me with a male partner.
     
    Gayhusband and Gay Brett like this.
  5. Gay Brett

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2021
    Messages:
    127
    Likes Received:
    207
    Location:
    San Francisco
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I definitely kept it bottled up for a long time. And now it feels so good not to hide any of my gay sexuality or my feminine personality. It is also nice to be with a man who likes people to know you are his.
     
    Gayhusband, Contented and Enzo46 like this.
  6. Contented

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    1,464
    Likes Received:
    2,320
    Location:
    Upstate NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It is so true that finally being to be identified as gay is an emotional high. Love being identified as a gay couple or when by myself as gay. I went from trying to hide my homosexuality to wanting everyone to know.
     
    Gayhusband, Searching2022 and Enzo46 like this.
  7. Searching2022

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2022
    Messages:
    381
    Likes Received:
    425
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's an odd feeling after years of repression. I mentioned elsewhere I am in a cycle of denial and acceptance, but slowly acceptance is winning out. It just feels so much better, I feels so freeing and joyful but at the same time a little scary feeling of losing control and surrender.
     
    Gayhusband, Journey616 and Ipswichfan like this.
  8. Enzo46

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2022
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    137
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Talking about not hiding your gay sexuality, a friend told me that a couple I know had remarked to her that I now act so gay. But I am not acting, it is the real me. The way I used to act was the pretence!
     
  9. wua

    wua
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2023
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think that word fear is more accurate. I'm not ashamed. I'm proud and I love being gay but I still feel fear that reaction of other people may be not good.
     
    Gayhusband likes this.
  10. Searching2022

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2022
    Messages:
    381
    Likes Received:
    425
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    For years I mistook my fear of "what people would think if they found out I was gay" with "I don't want to be gay". Then I asked myself, if I was in a city where I knew no one and saw a cute guy smiling at me, and I could hook up and no one would find out, what would I do?
     
    #10 Searching2022, Jan 12, 2023
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2023
    Gayhusband, wua and Ipswichfan like this.
  11. Rainbow64

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2019
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    58
    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I can definitely relate to all of these posts. So many years in the closet afraid of what others might think. It was a process of gradually accepting myself and now I'm getting to the point of really liking my gay self. I enjoy being with other gay men and flirting with them. It feels so good to be out and not care what people think.
     
    Gayhusband likes this.
  12. quebec

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,173
    Likes Received:
    2,347
    Location:
    U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hello All.....My sexuality has been complicated, but in 2014 I came out as gay here on Empty Closets. I'm not out to everyone but there are certain people and certain places where I can be my "real" self. When I am around those people or in those places it truly is wonderful to just be me. No monitoring what I say or how I act...just me! I've had to accept that I have to live with one foot in the closet and one foot out. It's just the way things are. My circumstances are such that this kind of compromise is the only way that I feel works for me. I absolutely do not suggest that anybody else has to live as I do...everyone needs to find their own path and this path is what works for me. Had I understood my sexuality sooner, I would have doubtless chosen a different path. But that is in the past. I don't think that anyone should feel guilt for their sexuality, regardless of what it may be. I once carried terrible guilt due to my sexuality and can now say that I am free from that guilt and the depression that it caused. To anyone who may read this...you need never feel guilt due to your sexuality. It is something that we are born with. I don't feel guilty because because I'm right handed...and there really is no difference as we have no control over things that are characteristics we are born with. I have accepted that I'm gay and feel good that I belong somewhere...that there is a group of people that I identify with. Having accepted it, I wouldn't change it. That's one of the reasons that I always sign my posts with the gay pride flag!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  13. Gay Brett

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2021
    Messages:
    127
    Likes Received:
    207
    Location:
    San Francisco
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Good for you no longer acting and now being yourself. You are so gay so you should act that way. If your natural personality leads people to assume you like men then I say there is nothing wrong with it because you do like men. Some of us gays are just more feminine than masculine and I think it makes sense given we share the same sexual desire as most women that we act somewhat like them outside of the bedroom too. We have similar wiring or at least I do. I have no shame that I am girly in the same way I have no shame in the sexual acts that I preform on and with my boyfriend. I like the D and act like other people who do as well.

    You and I are guys who enjoy having sex with men and find them to be extremely attractive. Of course we act different from straight men who are turned on by women.

    I hope you didn’t find their comments hurtful or at least find the trade off of now getting to experience sex with the gender you always wanted to have it with worth it.

    I think it’s wonderful that you have a gay lover and you are embracing your homosexuality to the point where people are noticing you being so gay.

    I love being so gay too.
     
  14. Enzo46

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2022
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    137
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks so much! You make a lot of insightful points and I appreciate your support.

    I certainly do love being so gay and get a real high from people knowing or assuming that I am gay.

    I don’t think that I am particularly girly. I love working out in the gym and exercise generally but I also have a number of more feminine oriented interests such as cooking, the arts and fashion. I have changed my wardrobe since I started coming out and I also think that my voice comes across as somewhat gay and now I no longer try to mask this.

    I was disappointed more than hurt by the remarks as I have so far only come out to a limited number of close friends who I thought would be supporters and I feel that this remark was intended by them as somewhat critical.

    However as I say the points you make are good ones. I too have no shame about my sexual acts and if this means that I act more like other people who like the same things, so be it. As you say, if people are noticing me as being so gay, this simply means that I am embracing my homosexuality.

    I intend to come out to my wider circle and to my work colleagues gradually over the next month or so (though I imagine it may not be a surprise to many) as I am determined to live as an out and proud gay man. I want to participate fully in and give back to our wonderful community.
     
    Gay Brett likes this.
  15. Searching2022

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2022
    Messages:
    381
    Likes Received:
    425
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    When I was growing up "c*cksucker",'fag", 'f*cked in the ass" were meant to be insults, and I internalized that felt ashamed to have these desires. I still think a fear of people thinking this holds me back a little though I know it shouldn't.
    Accepting I am gay feels so good and I now see these as acts of love I want to perform with someone I am close to.
     
    Gayhusband, Adz6 and Contented like this.
  16. Enzo46

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2022
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    137
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think that many of us older folk have had to overcome internalized homophobia and ridiculous heteronormative conditioning in order to be able to recognise and experience our true homosexual nature. Once you get over that hurdle and experience the beauty and joy of sex with a man, you will see that all these fears will dissipate and you will feel so liberated.
     
    Bud and Searching2022 like this.
  17. Contented

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    1,464
    Likes Received:
    2,320
    Location:
    Upstate NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is such a great thread. Men being able to liberate themselves from compulsory heterosexuality. Finally getting past their societal induced homophobia to become proud gay men. There is hope for us as we embrace the future honestly.
     
    Bud and Enzo46 like this.
  18. Gay Brett

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2021
    Messages:
    127
    Likes Received:
    207
    Location:
    San Francisco
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think having sex with women is as off putting as those who think my loving a man in both these ways are. But I would never want them to feel shame for doing it.

    If you have a boyfriend or husband it is not uncommon that you give him oral sex and you find doing it enjoyable. It is also not uncommon for people who date men and are in relationships with men to want to be made love to by their man.

    I think of myself as doing things that are normal for people who are attracted to men to do as opposed to them being strictly gay sexual acts. It might be less common that you are a guy doing these things instead of a woman but what you want to do is something over half the country’s population wants too. It’s not weird.

    I’m glad you are looking at them in a new way and are comfortable admitting to yourself that you want a man.
     
  19. Contented

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    1,464
    Likes Received:
    2,320
    Location:
    Upstate NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is so well said!
     
    Enzo46 likes this.
  20. Enzo46

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2022
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    137
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    What you say here is so true. If you have a boyfriend or like men, how can it possibly be shameful to show how you appreciate them? A man’s body can be so beautiful and it is perfectly natural to want to show your appreciation by kissing his beautiful parts and also to unite in the most intimate and erotic way that is open to men. Showing love cannot be shameful and the historical scorn of and hatred towards the showing of such love between men must not stop us from engaging in what can be so uplifting and beautiful.
     
    Searching2022 and Contented like this.