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A nice guy I met on vacation

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by trojan, Oct 1, 2022.

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  1. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    Have you thought of a first kiss together ?
     
    #61 Jakebusman, Nov 27, 2022
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  2. trojan

    trojan
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    yes. I think of it all the time.
    yes, I think of it a lot. I just don't want to scare him away.
     
    #62 trojan, Nov 27, 2022
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  3. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    Maybe he wants it too
     
    #63 Jakebusman, Nov 27, 2022
  4. trojan

    trojan
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    I'm still here. We still hang around together. The other day I think he was considering stroking my leg. I put it on display within arms range of him, and he was studying it. Or maybe my imagination? I have hinted at him many times. I tell different stories about Gay men in my life or men that have tried to seduce me. We are almost halfway through our time together, and so far neither of us has made a move.
    I am thinking of just telling him that I am looking for a Boyfriend. I won't even say he is a potential for me, or that I am considering him as a boyfriend. I will just say casually that I have been thinking of finding myself a boyfriend. Or anyway, that is today's thought. Soon I will have to make a move though, or spend the rest of my life regretting it...we still have some months together.
     
    #64 trojan, Dec 16, 2022
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  5. Contented

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    You have nothing to risk by making the statement your interested in finding a boyfriend. Go for it.
     
    #65 Contented, Dec 16, 2022
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  6. trojan

    trojan
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    maybe I will do this. he shows interest in me. He is single.
     
    #66 trojan, Dec 16, 2022
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  7. Contented

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    You may regret not doing it all your life. Perhaps he might be your future husband. Life is funny that way.
     
    #67 Contented, Dec 16, 2022
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  8. trojan

    trojan
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    we go to a secret spot and spend some hours talking. I need to get up the courage do this. Maybe he is going to this secluded spot,taking me there every time, as an indication that he is interested. we have the spot all to ourselves.
     
    #68 trojan, Dec 16, 2022
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  9. Contented

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    All the indicators are there. Just go for it!
     
    #69 Contented, Dec 17, 2022
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  10. trojan

    trojan
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    I didn't do it. I'm still not sure what to do. His new thing is teasing me about being gay. Some teases are a little harsh. does teasing me that I am gay mean he is testing the waters or that he doesn't like gays? it happens 10 times a day. I told him he wore out the joke.
     
    #70 trojan, Dec 22, 2022
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  11. Contented

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    It’s time to break the ice totally and ask him the question. Almost sounds like he is trying to push you to ask him his orientation. What do you have to lose at this point. Come out and tell him you are looking for a boyfriend and would like it to him. Only two answers here. You might pleasantly surprised. Good luck.
     
    #71 Contented, Dec 23, 2022
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  12. trojan

    trojan
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    Yes. Thank you. The teasing is pushing me to ask. He wouldn't be so obsessed about it if it weren't on his mind. It is becoming our main topic.
     
    #72 trojan, Dec 23, 2022
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  13. Lilreyes

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    I love vacations✈️✈️
     
    #73 Lilreyes, Dec 23, 2022
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  14. Jakebusman

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    Hope you get to see him again
     
    #74 Jakebusman, Dec 28, 2022
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  15. Tightrope

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    He appears to have the upper hand in a major way. You should take this more assertively and ask him why he teases and talks about gays so much. You've heard the expression "there's a lot of truth in jest." There's a testing of the waters kind of teasing but I'm picking up on a bitchy aspect that's mean spirited.

    Based on all the things you've mentioned, especially his period episodes of dishonesty, I'd be on my way in a hurry. Do you need all this drama? I had wanted to say something but had to look for the thread. Maybe you need recheck your life priorities and how much worth you put on looking out for your own best interests.
     
    #75 Tightrope, Jan 24, 2023
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  16. trojan

    trojan
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    bitchy, mean-spirited, very immature, and somehow extremely sheltered from the real world. I'm finding he has multiple problems besides dishonesty. the problems reveal themselves like layers of an onion. one new weird layer exposes itself with each outing. The last outing was a couple of days ago. he has some strange characteristics. thanks for checking back with me.
     
    #76 trojan, Jan 24, 2023
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  17. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    Hope your doing ok
     
    #77 Jakebusman, Feb 6, 2023
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  18. trojan

    trojan
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    Well, it didn't work out. He kinda disappeared and I decided not to pursue him. But at least I tried and gained from the experience. I have done a lot of reading on the subject, and here and there flirt with guys just for practice I guess. The problem is (when not on vacation) I live in a tiny town where everybody knows each other, and I don't want something to happen with everybody knowing I experimented. There is one guy I flirt with at home, single and I see him every day at his job, but that is all we ever do is give each other the eye. I don't have a way to meet him that I can think of, and also very awkward if I meet him and it turns out he is not actually flirting, and he tells everybody I have been flirting with him and asked him on a date. I'm actually pretty dumb about those things: Gaydar etc. Anyway, the experience proved to me I want to do this. If the vacation guy and I had clicked it had turned out he was a sort of normal guy instead of a freak, and he wanted to I'm pretty sure I would have gone down on my knees for him. I thought about it constantly. Maybe next vacation I will go to a more gay-friendly place. I have been reading about places they gather
     
    #78 trojan, Mar 28, 2023
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  19. Tightrope

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    We don't know where you went on vacation, and we don't need to know, but if your aim is to score, you should pick a more gay friendly place. Since it sounds like it was a regular vacation place, this situation could have turned out badly if you had kept going. When someone has some things that are really out on the edge about them, like his scams, you should have walked away from the situation without giving it a second thought.

    Since you mention that you're "pretty dumb about those things" and it sounds like you want to put yourself out there, I'd suggest trying to develop some street sense and gaydar - stuff like that. Even with that, your judgment won't be 100%.

    I was getting creeped out reading about the object of your interest. It's a good thing this fell through.
     
    #79 Tightrope, Mar 30, 2023
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  20. 74andHome

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    Good luck in the future. Great learning experience though upsetting for sure. Sounds like a good person to say away from. Hang in there and remember - You are the person who makes decisions for You!
     
    #80 74andHome, Apr 19, 2023
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