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Came out today!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Nameerf76, Sep 27, 2022.

  1. Nameerf76

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    Hi everyone - I came out (as bi) on Instagram today (the only social media I'm on) at age 46!
    My wife of 22 years has always known and I told my kids once they were grown up but other than a couple of friends (and my sister) I haven't told anyone else before today.
    I feel good about it but a little bit nervous about people's reactions. Funnily enough I just checked and the one reaction I've had so far was a "like" from someone I know in real life who I thought might have a problem with it - I guess you can't predict hoe people will react..
    It's just that some people have known me for 20-30 years and not known!
    Anyway thanks for listening while I wait for reactions!
     
  2. Cinnamoon

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    People can sometimes surprise us. Well done for being you =)
     
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  3. Nameerf76

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    Thankyou!
     
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  4. Jakebusman

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    Congrats on coming out
     
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  5. FireFox

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    Nice, well done <3
     
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  6. BiGemini87

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    Congratulations! I'm glad the reactions (especially from those you expected negativity from) has been positive so far. I hope they continue to be positive as they roll in, and that any that aren't can be easily brushed away/ignored.

    Keep us posted! :slight_smile:
     
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  7. Nameerf76

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    Thanks everyone! Yes I've had some really nice comments on my post - some ominous silences from some people! But that's ok!
    Went out to the shops today and I felt so relaxed and happy - first day OUT in public!
    I have always had pretty severe Anxiety and the last few years I've felt that I needed to be more open and more MYSELF rather than how I think other people want me to be - so coming out was a part of my process of getting on top of my Anxiety - and so far at least - it's worked great!
     
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  8. Elcar

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    Cooool
     
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  9. caden0803

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    As someone who also struggles with their anxiety, I want to congratulate you for being able to overcome some of yours.
     
    #9 caden0803, Sep 29, 2022
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2022
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  10. Nameerf76

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    Thanks @caden0803 !
    Anxiety is horrible isn't it? I've struggled with it all my life but only really had treatment for the past 15 years or so. I made a few big breakthroughs with it this year though and I realised that not being "out" was another contributing factor.
    I felt like, even though I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed - the fact that I hadn't told many people made me feel like I was hiding something (which I guess I was). And even though I was very comfortable with my sexuality by now, the feeling of "hiding" made me feel like I was doing something "wrong" and I always had a vague feeling of worry about being "found out"..
    So coming out has really helped with that aspect! I feel much more confident and relaxed in public!
    But I know the Anxiety will always be there - you just have to keep working at methods and practices to cope with it..!
     
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  11. caden0803

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    I’ve come out to my parents and friends so far but leading up to that I had a ton of anxiety. The anxiety made me scared they wouldn’t accept that part of me but they did. Since then I’ve felt free to explore my sexuality in a way that makes me feel comfortable. It’s helped me cope with the anxiety I felt before. Good luck in being able to cope with yours going forward.
     
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  12. PJ208

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    Awesome. Good for you!! Must feel great to be totally open.
     
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  13. PJ208

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    Good to hear. Always better to come out. I waiting decades and the amount of negativity that builds up inside isn't worth it. Wish I had come out a long time ago.
     
  14. caden0803

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    I also consider myself lucky that my coming out to the people I mentioned did happen relatively fast. It wasn’t something I struggled with for decades. At least you were in a better place when you allowed yourself to be who you are right?
     
  15. PJ208

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    Exactly correct. I can't have any regrets. :slight_smile:
     
  16. Owen21

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    Congratulations!!
     
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  17. Jakebusman

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    How does your wife feel about you being Bisexual ? Coming out to my wife wasn't easy
     
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  18. Nameerf76

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    It was hard - my wife was just worried/upset about what it could mean for our relationship - she's very open-minded and supportive - she just worried that we might split up. But it's been quite a few years since I came out to her and it's really brought us even closer - I don't think we had SECRETS before but we had topics we'd never talked through so it's been really positive for us.
    We're very close though and have been together for 22 years so far! So while it was difficult - I came out to her pretty soon after I had realised (or accepted) it myself.
    It was hard coming out to my kids too! But they were great about it and our son told me he is bi as well so it really brought us ALL closer together!
     
  19. Prisma

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    Congratulations! Good job! :grin:
     
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