To the guys that have come out to their wives, what were some of the ways you dropped hints before coming out to your wife? What were their reactions? Did they ignore it or slowly realise? I know many guys on here have come out unexpectedly to their wives and the consequent shock and anger but I would like to know if other guys have attempted a slower approach. I guess what I am trying to explore is that I’ve had at least 5 years to slowly accept that I am gay but I know my wife hasn’t had the same time to process it. I know whatever I do will be difficult for her but I was wondering if there is a way to break it to her so that it’s not so much of a shock?
Joolz66.....I often suggest that using a letter when coming out might be difficult is a good idea. This doesn't exactly come under the heading of "dropping hints", but it does provide a way of making what can be a very difficult situation at least a little less confrontational. Give it a thought...I hope it helps! *****You might want to consider using a letter WHEN the time comes to tell your wife. A big plus to a letter is that you don't have to be present when the letter is read. That can be a very big help as it eliminates the potential face-to-face confrontation that can sometimes go bad. Coming out in writing means you will not be interrupted or face a barrage of questions that you need to answer immediately, in the heat of the moment. You get time and they get time too and that counts for a lot. It gives the person reading the letter some time to think before they talk to you. After all, you've had time to think about your sexuality, perhaps for years…giving them at least some time to think about it too only seems fair! There are some sample coming out letters here on Empty Closets that could be a big help to you. Even if you don't eventually use the letter, taking time to think about it and to write one will help you to be sure to say what you need to say and leave out the rest! You can then use the letter as a "script" for when you do come out face-to-face. Check out the letters (see below)...they could be a real help! *****Also...when you do come out, whether it's tomorrow or a year from now, your wife will probably have questions. Take some time now to think about what those questions might be. Such as; "How do you know you're gay?" or "How long have you felt this way?" etc. The questions themselves will vary a great deal dependent upon your particular situation...so take that into consideration. If you work up a list of five or six probable questions with the answers already planned, you will likely be perceived as a more mature, serious person. *****COMING OUT LETTERS: http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out-letters.php *****Remember...you are a part of our LGBTQ Family and we do care! Keep us updated on how things are going for you! .....David
@quebec thank you..I’m at the point I know I need to come out to her, and you’re in right, it’s now just a matter of when and I’ve finally started working on that. Thanks for the support.
