more and more im realizing how ashamed of myself i am for something as simple as the fact that ive always been a lesbian. Its quite an overwhelming experience both in the shame that i feel and how paralyzed to take action i feel but also the anger and pure range i feel at society for making me (and many others before me) feel like i am sick and abnormal.. How do you deal with this? its feels quute heavy right now and tricky to carry with me on my day to day… I am 31, single, no experience and feeling really lost!
I felt overwhelmed as a young man discovering love with another man. It felt so beautiful and natural to me, but I was afraid of family and coworkers finding out. I lived a secretive life, but eventually came out to just a few friends. They were a little confused at first (as I was), but I felt a deep emotional love from them and it strengthened our friendship.
I can relate. Living in a conservative society made me feel that there's something wrong with me and I will never be good enough for anyone. I struggle because of that up until now. Sadly we cannot control how other feels about us but we can control how we see and treat ourselves. We can love ourselves more and give less attention to what other people say. They don't know us that's why they are quick to judge. I always tell myself that my self worth should not be based on other people. I hope you feel better. Focus on yourself and spend time with your family and friends. It will help.
I can relate. I had to deal with a lot of internalized homophobia, what have got better, the more I have accepted who I am. I just worked on myself and analyzed my feelings and tried to become more comfortable with the fact that I like women. When I realized I like women too, then I also felt a lot of shame and quilt and it was all overwhelming. I live in a conservative country and there are homophobes in my family. It was internalized in me that being in the same sex relationship is wrong. I don't have any experience with women either and I'm inexperienced because of it all. Talking about it all to others in similar position have helped too.
