Not sure why, other than some planet has aligned with some other planet (or misaligned), but I am feeling such a heavy draw today toward my same-sex attraction side. The bad part is there is NOTHING I can do to satisfy it. Another bad part is that it affects my relationship with my wife. I am sure there are other, or at least I think there are other married bi-guys here that experience the same thing. I am fortunate in that I have been allowed and able to pursue that with my FWB, but I think part of that allowance is that my FWB lives about 3.5 hours away. It's not like we can get together that often to scratch that itch. Looking at this, it sounds terrible. I am married and want to go outside my marriage for sexual gratification. It is also a theme of contention with my wife. It is hard to explain to her and even myself sometimes that it is a desire for intimacy with someone that my wife is completely incapable of giving me. She biologically does not have the equipment. Pegging is NOT the same. Just like a dildo is not the same. Oral on a dildo does not work for me like oral on a penis, etc. Nor can there be surrender to the masculine partner with my wife. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the intimacy with my wife. The traditional masculine role toward her. The pleasure I can give to her and the pleasure I can recieve. But right now I desire a MALE. Ugh, my words are so inadequate for the turmoil going through me right now.
Except for having the FWB. I’m in the exact same situation as you. Toys can scratch a little bit of itch but doesn’t satisfy me fully. It’s that male energy that is missing. You’re not alone.
Thanks for the response. Sometimes the craving is deeper than other times. Most times it is just in the background, "oh, he's cute" but sometimes it's, "I NEED PEN*S!" If the swing is the other way then, my wife can handle it. Of course, this all hinges on if she is in the mood, or the right space for play. Which, I guess, is true with guys too, though most guys are ALWAYS in that space. Are you out to your wife?
Have you thought about it being the other way round? I mean if you were living with a guy and your main relationship is with a guy. Would you be craving a female?
Honestly, sometimes yes. Yesterday I was REALLY craving something not available. Today, not as much. I was just really feeling horny yesterday for male companionship and it was not even remotely in the works for that. Some days are harder than others. Some days are not hard at all and I am indifferent. Some days, I also only crave my wife. I am not trying to be rude, just honest with myself and you all. It was a purely sexual thing yesterday, not emotional. My little head was being very insistent.
Yeah I know what you mean. Do you think emotions and sexuality are separate things. I know it’s a bit of a taboo topic that’s debated and discussed a lot. But it’s not very accepted and there is no evidence to support that. So for most intimate relationships the two should align otherwise it would not work out. It is a complicated thing because sometimes I think they do. Sometimes I think they don’t.
Not really separate, but I have different emotions toward my best friend, whom I have a sexual relationship with, and my wife. My wife and I have a very nurturing and caring relationship. There is a lot of love, caring, and need to be close. We are family, if you will. We want to spend the rest of our lives together. My best friend and I have a pretty deep friendship, but neither of us wants to set up house, as it were. There is no candle lit romance. That being said, there is a great friendship. We hike, camp, hang out. Talk about the LGBTQIA+ culture. Drink beer, swap stories. Are there for each other when needed. There is also great M2M sex. We scratch that itch, if you will, but it is more than hooking up. We have a mutual respect and listen to one another. We know how to please one another in bed, including intimate masculine after sex cuddling. Then we go slay the next dragon, thumping our chests in the brotherly bravado that only best friends have. Yesterday was pretty primal. Me wanted SEX... UGH! The desire was STRONG. My M2M libido was off the charts as they say. Some say, I am an ass wanting my cake and eat it too. I say there really are two parts to me and I have STARVED that other part for so long it was ripping me apart. My situation is not perfect, nor is it for MANY, but it is the best I can do and keep sane, or at least some semblance of sanity. This is not hidden from my wife. This is something we are working through. There have been compromises on both sides, though, many, including myself, think my wife makes the most compromise. In closing, being Bi SUCKS, at least for me, it does. There is no switch, at least not one I can control. All I can do is my best to minimize the hurt and to help both of us learn to or find a way of living a happy, or as happy a life as we can live. Like I keep saying, I can't live without her, but I can't live back in the closet in denial. I don't mean that metaphorically either. I mean that literally. It isn't perfect, but WTF in life is.
I know how how it feels. This the dilemma. When one is so inclined. Especially if one is more or less 50/50 bi. Both relationships with a man and with a woman have their own unique attributes and qualities in my opinion at least. In a woman I find: The emotional, the beauty and fragility, the tenderness, the support, the faithfulness, the understanding, the dependability, the way they can handle adversity, the way are in raising children and taking care of people. In a man: There is friendship, strength, agility, stamina, exuberant sex appeal and sexuality. Playfulnesses, fun, daring, more laughter and jokes, a more active lifestyle, a sense curiosity and discovery. An appetite for being reckless at times and doing things on whim, spontaneity. This what I see off course. That’s why I find it’s not at all easy being a bi person. It’s like you said it’s not perfect and you have to make compromises in order to live the life you want and be content. That’s because you have to face yourself and your life partner on one has and also the community and society at large that you live in. Because people are so judgmental and and they don’t understand this. But it’s consolation that am not alone in this and that there are other people that are the same as me.
I can somewhat get what you're going through, though for me it's a bit more.... Complicated. For me, Bisexuality was just a step towards what I would eventually come to accept as me being Pansexual. I've heard the phrase, "I/you/they go both ways", right? Well for me, that didn't feel quite right to who I am. However I found a slight way to change the nomenclature of that phrase to properly explain how my Pansexuality works: I go all ways. I just feel everyone's energy and appearance attractive and to me, gender doesn't really apply to me. However, there was a time in my life, I'm in my early 30's mind you, where I really did think I was just Bisexual and did experience this pendulum-like pull between both male and female companionship, attraction, and sexual needs. Some days I did mesh well with women and sought their company exclusively. Other times I really just wanted that male energy. I did go through that period and it sucks hard. But I just wanted to say that you have my support and best wishes.
Just so you all know. I am feeling better, still pretty horny... but then it seems like that has been the norm most of my life. Unless I am scared shitless, or have to concentrate to save my ass and/or shipmates' asses. Been there, done that and F the t-shirt. Also, when I sleep; though, that one is debatable. The focus of said horniness varies as the wind blows, it seems. Although, as mentioned above, it seems to change with varying frequency. Lately, it has been more on the M2M spectrum. Thank god I have two hands.
Aren’t we all sometimes. So listen. You were in the navy? Right?. What was it like back then? Am sure there were plenty of handsome guys. Were you aware at that time that you were bi? That you were attracted to both. I think you said in one of them posts that you were mostly with women at the time. Maybe it was difficult for you at that time to do that I mean. Come out and be who you are. Did you know of people who were? I am sure you must have a lot of stories to tell. If you go back to your earliest memories. That would be an interesting thread by itself I would imagine
I may do a thread all in itself for the whole story or a big chunk, but in a nutshell, I was pretty much in denial. I had urges, but tended to ignore them or worse get disgusted with myself. In the Philipines, I was pretty naive. There were young men that would approach me and offer to be my special friend. I had no clue, until I paid a bar fine for a young woman and she brought me home, fed me, and other things. When her brother showed up and they got in an argument because he did not bring home a special friend. That would have been awkward had he done so and it was one of my shipmates. I was never really attracted to my shipmates because they were more my brothers. If that makes any sense. That and as I mentioned before I was pretty hardcore in denial.
