it's not like I really need advice, but I feel like I need to put it into words. Who knows, somebody may relate in here. I don't really feel like sex is all that. I've tried with a girl, I've tried with a guy. I enjoyed doing it way more with the guy. I call myself gay, if you went by kinsey's scale I'd be at 5 or a tiny tad below. Thing is, despite it being nice and all... I don't really crave sex like other people seem to do. I can spend years without having sex. And whatever libido I have, I can easily take care of by myself. I often think about spending the rest of my life without sex and I really believe I wouldn't mind. I'm not asexual, cause like... I would have sex if I was in the mood and I liked the partner. Almost all of my straight and queer friends, aside from the aces (love you guys), look at me like I'm being blasphemous when I voice this feeling or tell me I just haven't had good sex. just wanted to know if some people felt the same way.
I feel similar, if not exactly the same. In that sex really isn't my primary concern, but companionship is. I get extremely lonely at times, and the hyper-fixation on looks related to the hypersexual nature of some of the apps I've used makes me extremely uncomfortable. I've found it's normalised for people to be incredibly rude, dismissive and abusive because you're not what they physically desire in a partner, and honestly although I don't mean to be bitter, the culture I've found in a lot of the apps I've used has really put me off chasing sex as a goal in itself. I class myself as demisexual, I need an emotional connection before I have sex with someone. Doesn't need to be a serious relationship, but I couldn't sleep with someone who wouldn't care if I dropped dead the next day. Sure, there's people I'm attracted to and people I'm not, and not everyone will be attracted to me. Physical attraction does play a part. But sex itself? Not my main concern.
Hi Aeolia! I can't personally relate (not that I'm even having a lot of sex in the first place), but I feel like I can absolutely understand though. So it's not an orientation thing, it's not a libido thing.. it's a values thing, right? Some people just have different priorities, and there's nothing wrong with that. Unlike orientation and libido, we at least get to choose our priorities. I'm sorry that your friends aren't a little more accepting. When I was in school I made it clear that sex wasn't a priority for me, at least at that time, and people gave me the same treatment. Today, I'm glad to say that my group of friends is very diverse on that topic. Nothing weird about it... keep doing your thing!
Yeah exactly I agree with most of what’s already been said. I have developed similar views over time. Because sex is only one part of human behavior and connection with other people. There are many other behaviors or things besides that. Plus it’s kind of overrated sometimes honestly. While I do have sex and I enjoy. But it’s not everything in life. Someone mentioned the hyper sexuality that could be found in apps and that’s mainly true to some extent. I know the ones for guys that centers mainly on that unfortunately. It’s about looks and sex that’s it. Some people are into that some are not which is fine. Someone also mentioned priorities and values and they are totally valid. I said that somewhere on another thread but I don’t thinks it’s even heathy to focus mainly and exclusively on the pleasures of genital sex and ignore other factors to relate and connect to other human beings. Its also fine if someone prefers periods of asexuality or is demi sexual or romantic or whatever. As long as you are being true to yourself. Everything else comes second in my opinion.
