Since I moved to Indonesia in Feb 2022 when I got promotions of my office, I live alone in the city and left my kids and wife in South Sulawesi. From Makassar to Kendari, it needs 1 hour by flight. I tried to make some connections with guys and I found one who is really makes me intense. I am not hoping the relationship into dramatic relationship as I found another guys who never so intense. I never guess that when I knew him this is a new problem for me. He is ex drinker, bad boy, but now he is married and has kids. He is unemployed but he has some rooms to rent. So he has more time to spy me. He is always monitoring me whenever I go. When I said that I will go to another place for my job he never trust me. I don’t married with him but all my steps in my life, he always monitoring and interrogating me, what I did and with whom I went to the place, instead I went to another city for job. He always demands my words, he analyses me what changed in my body, all part of my life. He pretends always also become a victim of what do, what I said and all my words recorded in his mind until I worry to make a promise to him. If I really make him disappointed he will sick his belly because his anger and emotions so explodes. I confuse now because I never to have feel that suicide is my choice but since I knew him I always said maybe I should disappear from the world or die I desperate. I promoted to this city not for short time but he said that as long as I stay in this city he will never sleep well except I am not living in this city. Today, he sent me text message that he better not live in this world anymore, after I always refuse to have sex with him instead I talk good words for him. I said you should thinks about your wife, your kids’ future. Even I go to for overtime, he suspicious and jealous to me. He thinks that I play with other guys; even I play with other guy that is my will. Man spread his sperm everywhere, I am not his wife. I asked him, are you falling in love to me? I hope he dont because he answered that he just like me. Give me suggestions, please? I hope you understand what I write because since I left the US 2018 I dont speak English anymore, I speak Indonesian language now
Hi Sundara, That is a very difficult situation. I am sorry to hear about your troubles. If one or both of you are considering suicide / self harm over the relationship, than it is definitely not healthy for either of you. I would suggest seeking help with your mental health, and I think you should STRONGLY suggest to him that he needs to do so as well. I cannot tell you what exactly what to do. I think that when possible you will need to cut off all contact immediately. (No phone calls, no messages, nothing.) Then see what happens from there.
