Feeling the ick .. is that normal?

It's a process and is constantly developing and changing. And sometimes it makes no sense at all. There have been times where someone should totally be my type, but I get the ick factor and then there are times, like now where I am seeing someone who would not normally be my type, but I am totally smitten with him.

 

Accepting your sexuality is a journey. For some, it's to the shop and back, while others, a round the world trip. It may take some time to adjust to your new life and undo the lifetime of conditioning you've previously been through. I've experienced a version of the "ick" you speak of and over time, it's diminished considerably to the point that sometimes it doesn't happen.

For me, it's always been during my refractory period, where I might feel "icky" for what I've done and for having enjoyed it so much. I put this down to years of societal/family conditioning, which I was never going to be able to undo overnight. It's not long before my true nature returns. I don't experience it looking at men in a sexual way though, I'm either attracted to them or not. I think this might be because I accepted I'm gay a couple of years ago (previously bisexual for a few years prior) so I'm now used to looking at men in a sexual manner or as potential partners. It's a part of my nature.

Chin up, things do get better.

 

I think you're experiencing residual internalized-homophobia, but with time, patience, exposure and acceptance, it will fade. Something as big as a change in your perception of your sexual orientation takes time. Hang in there!

 

I really can't offer any advice except to say I experience this too! Outside, visually I am attracted to women, and if I think about touching them sexually, I don't exactly get aroused, but I do get 'excited' and think 'that would be nice'. Even when I have tried to be attracted to guys IRL I am not, but I have heavy fantasies about gay sex when I am alone.

 

Yes! I definitely used to feel the "ick factor," for many years... took a lonnnng while to get over it. (Mostly over it)

Hang in there buddy! And keep asking yourself these important questions about why you think or feel something... As long as you're honest with yourself, you'll eventually find your answer.

 

I think everyone so far has reached the heart of it: it does sound like residual internalized homophobia, and that's okay. It takes time to work through all the feelings--both our own and those projected onto us by others--and become comfortable with who and what we are.

Show yourself patience and understanding during this time, or as much as you can; shame/disgust are hard to avoid, but try to prevent them from overwhelming you, for that can set back your personal growth. It's okay to stumble, of course--we all do. But whenever you feel that shame or disgust creeping up, stop to reflect on why: where is it stemming from? What is the precise thought behind it, if there is a singular cause, or what reasons can you name? If you can figure that out, you can prepare counterarguments to whatever they might be. It can and likely will take time, but you'll get there.

 

I get it and it happens to me too sometimes. But I don’t know why that happens. I don’t know if it has anything to do with internalized homophobia. But what I feel strongly about for me at least is that it has to do with attraction and non attraction to specific people.

 

I used to have a Ick feeling when I first knew I was Bisexual but learned it was ok to have feelings for guys as I got older that ick feeling comes back sometimes.

 

It's a matter of conquering hangups. The ick will dissolve with time and experience.