So I have a few fantasies that I'm not fully comfortable with sharing with my wife. I think they might be a bit extreme for her. Is this a suitable place for sharing them?
So maybe: 1. Ask the moderator? and/or 2. Go ahead and write/share? Maybe moderator will see this and answer.
So my big 3 fantasies are: 1. Visit a glory hole and be on the receiving end. 2. Spend a day at a mens club. 3. Join a gay couple for a threesome.
When creating threads about fantasies it's important to keep in mind that this forum is intended to be a safe space for members of the LGBT+ community over the age of 13 years old. Any posts or discussions that stray off course into salacious detail will be moderated or removed. Empty Closets has always allowed space for members to talk frankly about sex and sexuality, but there should be a purpose to questions and enquiries, i.e. to receive advice/information or support. The forum cannot be used for graphic conversations about what turns us on or gets us off and when we add posts to the forum our language should take this into account. If any member is unsure please create a thread in Ask the Staff.
So would this topic follow guidelines because there's zero graphic details or not follow because it's suggestive?
In my opinion (which is my opinion and not necessarily representative of the staff or organization's opinion), you are on the line but probably OK because what you are describing isn't overly graphic, and appears to be done for the purpose of better understanding yourself. We do have some pretty graphic discussions, but they are for these purposes, not to document fantasies that would be overly suggestive or arousing or otherwise inappropriate. The question then becomes, what is the purpose of sharing your fantasies? I see you identify as bisexual, so those fantasies would be consistent with someone who is bisexual. Now... if the concern is that these fantasies are stronger and more common than pleasure you experience sexually with your wife, then that's a different issue. Is your wife aware of your bisexuality, and, if so, how much have you discussed it? It sounds like the concern might be that she is uncomfortable with whatever your attraction level is to guys. Is that correct?
Correct. I have two concerns. The first being that she would feel my attraction level to men is to high. And the other concern being in my own head. I worry that it's kinda a bad thing that all my fantasies are about men only while I'm married to a woman. Or perhaps it's a good thing? That there's only one woman for me. I don't know but opinions are very helpful for me.
It really depends on what you are after. If, in fact, all of your fantasies are toward men, you may not be bisexual and you certainly aren't straight. There are men on here who are gay but choose to stay in heterosexual marriages. If you are open with your wife and make that arrangement, there's nothign wrong with that. But I'm a pretty firm believer that both for the integrity of the marriage and for your own integrity, you probably owe it to be honest with her.
The only thing I don't fully understand I guess is that I'm madly in love with my wife and I find her very attractive. I love our sex life. It's just she's the only one. Would that still make me gay? I'm okay with that being the case. I'm not fully understanding the arrangements statement though.
Well, let's put it this way. I know someone who is male, married to a woman, with three now-adult children. He is deeply in love with his wife. And he also says that he is gay. But he is totally happy and deeply in love with, and committed to his wife. He describes himself as "gay except for her." She knows this and isn't bothered by it. So yes, it's possible.
Okay yeah that's pretty close to how I feel! So what did you mean by arrangements? I'm sorry I'm just struggling to understand that part.
