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Is it accurate to call myself a straight leaning bisexual or am I something else?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Plato, Jun 20, 2022.

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  1. Plato

    Plato
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    Is bisexuality commonly considered a spectrum or is it taboo to call it a scale/spectrum? I’m a 27 year old man and I’m in an open relationship with a man who also identifies as being on the bisexual spectrum too. We became casual friends in high school and we had casual sex multiple times whenever we were both single. We’ve only been in relationships with women before officially dating each other. I have five children from my previous relationships and he has three children from his previous relationships. When I was with a woman, I felt no urge to have sex with a man again. He didn’t feel any urge to have sex with any man outside his relationships either. Our previous relationships didn’t work because of reasons outside of our sexuality. I didn’t want to date him at first but he convinced me that we’re right for each other.

    Our relationship is only open to women because we’re not interested in having sex with other men besides ourselves. I would be extremely jealous if he does anything sexual or romantic with any man besides me. He also said he wouldn’t like it if I did anything sexual or romantic with any man besides him.

    Sexual intercourse with women is like cocaine for us, but having sexual intercourse with the right man is like a good chocolate. My man and I have been together for almost a year and our open relationship hasn’t caused us any distress. I’ve kissed my fuck buddy in front of him and he’s never flinched. When he kisses his fuck buddy in front of me, it doesn’t affect me at all. We don’t like threesomes that much and we don’t share our women together.

    I’m personally much more aroused by women than I am by men. It takes me a longer time to be physically aroused by a man and most men don’t interest me in a sexual or romantic way. I’ve only had sex with two men in my whole life. It takes a lot more than just good looks to be attracted to a man. It also takes the right personality and the right amount of trust to want to have sex with him. My man would never bottom or give me oral sex in a million years. My attraction to men is more mental and I only bottom with my man because, as a masochist, I like the humiliation and torture it brings. However, I’m much more dominant with women.
    So what am I? Is it insensitive to call ourselves “queer” or “lgbt+”? What is the word that best describes me?
     
    #1 Plato, Jun 20, 2022
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  2. bambibat

    bambibat
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    Yes! Bisexuality is indeed a spectrum. It’s the only orientation which can accurately be described that way. It’s fine to call yourself a straight-leaning bisexual, or bisexual who leans towards men. I’m essentially the opposite (bi woman who leans towards women) and I make that definition quite often, as I find simply telling people “bisexual” can sometimes bring up inaccurate assumptions if you’re not strictly 50/50.
     
    #2 bambibat, Jun 21, 2022
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  3. bambibat

    bambibat
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    sorry! I realised I meant to say “bisexual who leans towards women” here to describe you haha
     
    #3 bambibat, Jun 21, 2022
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  4. SteveBi45

    SteveBi45
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    I would also consider myself bisexual with a leaning towards women. It also takes a lot for me to be attracted to men. It's not about looks but a connection.
     
    #4 SteveBi45, Jun 21, 2022
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  5. TinyWerewolf

    TinyWerewolf
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    I just say I'm 50/50, because my preference fluctuates just a bit between the two (even throughout the course of a day). If I truly leaned toward either, it would be towards women slightly. It makes sense why you'd say straight leaning bisexual to me.
     
    #5 TinyWerewolf, Jun 21, 2022
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  6. Monraffe

    Monraffe
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    Words are categories and while it it is certainly doable to come up with a name to add to the monogram that describes your particular orientation, or just go with bisexual as some suggest, I think perhaps it’s more instructive to reflect on what we all have in common in the first place - the right to self determination. Good luck on you amazing journey in the quest to find your bliss! I admire you courage.
     
    #6 Monraffe, Jun 21, 2022
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