Anyone else not fussed over pride month?

To be honest I feel very similar to this. I feel like a minority within a minority sometimes with my anxiety issues and social awkwardness, seeing folk out and proud is absolutely amazing and I'm so happy we've been able to build up our rights to an extent over the years. But personally it's bittersweet, I don't feel outgoing, or proud of myself generally, or connected to the wider LGBTQ+ community. This is absolutely on me, but yeah with my state of mind being as it is right now pride isn't something I feel able to participate in. Maybe it will change, and I really would never want to dampen the celebrations for anyone else. But being like I am, people like me - the shy ones, the unsure ones, the insecure ones - do seem to be overlooked a little bit.

Might be wrong about that objectively and I don't mean to sound bitter or anything but feeling like this can be pretty tough and isolating.

 

Personally I love rainbows and don’t care why everything is covered in them. I don’t go to pride events because I don’t like large groups of people and I don’t want to go alone. I don’t have a problem with pride month or what other people do for it but it’s just another month for me. I was exited for June but that’s because of the new Jurassic World movie rather than pride month.

 

That's okay you're welcome! It's okay, it can be a struggle but lots of people struggle with similar stuff unfortunately.

To be honest I really struggle to express myself that way in many places too. And my comfort zone is absolutely tiny. Definitely nice to know I'm not alone though.

And sorry to skip over you loves books. I don't like going to crowded places on my own either, so I can relate to what you're saying too.

 

I am on the fence about it myself. Recognition is nice, but compartmentalizing to a single month and profiting from it isn't cool. Plus I might be weird but my sexuality isn't something I want to be known for or about. Yes I am bi, but that is only a single thing out of hundreds of things that make me who I am.

 

I have mixed feelings about it myself, as well. It really appealed to me the first couple of years after coming out (mainly because I would have liked to go with a couple of old friends), and sometimes I feel that way again. But largely it's just...unappealing to me now. I'm glad others are able to participate and have a good time, but there are a lot of things I don't like about how it's run now, to be honest.

And your reasons are completely understandable! Going to Pride events would be a bit like rubbing salt in the wound, especially if you've been feeling lonely and struggling to find someone to share it with--kind of a bit like Valentine's Day, I imagine (and the two have a lot in common with corporations capitalizing off of the merch).

 

Same.

 

Hi @BiGemini87 - I have been reading several threads about Pride month these last few weeks, and I appreciate that there are multiple viewpoints on it. So, I'm just curious what you think about this: I am fresh out of the closet and only out to my immediate family and a couple of gay friends. I have never attended any lgbtq events other than a virtual coming out support group. But, I decided that I might join a lgbtq friendly running/walking club in my city. I was going to go to one of their walks scheduled for this weekend in an effort to start meeting other people in hopes that it could lead to friendships or even more. The day that this walk is taking place is also the day of some major Pride events going on. So I figured that maybe if I'm lucky, I'd meet some acquaintences who might be planning or willing to go check out the events later that day. If not, I might still consider going by myself. Do you think I'm setting my expectations too high? At first, I was really excited about the prospect of going on a walk with some (hopefully) new lgbtq friends and then checking out the Pride stuff after that. But now I'm wondering if this is just a fantasy in my head? I feel like I need to do SOMETHING to move forward in this journey of mine! Thanks in advance, @BiGemini87. And sorry, I didn't mean to hijack this thread for my own problems!

 

I all happy and excited for pride month but to a degree I totally love the history and reason behind Pride month but its gotten totally commercial and every company and there brother slaps a rainbow on everything its annoying. I feel like pride month has lost its purpose/point. Just my 2 cents

 

Pride is those of us who can sharing our identities to support those of us who can't. It began, and is fundamentally rooted, in protest, due to mounting police violence against LGBTQ people in the 50's and 60's, culminating in the riot after the raid of Stonewall Inn, a secret gay/trans gathering spot.

It's misrepresented so much now, it's become a lot of things it shouldn't be. Rather than remembering the troubles we had, and recognizing how far we have to go, it's become a self-aggrandizing pseudo-celebration, where gay people and allies alike pretend we're all done, and everyone quietly sweeps away the grim history that led to our current (albeit limited) liberation in the first place, under a tacky wave of performative inclusion.

Frankly, it wasn't until I really learned the history of our civil rights that I became vocal and interested in it. Until then, I didn't care, since I long identified as bi and erasure was HUGE during my teen years, to the point I resented the Community for their brazen and proud ignorance. Since my activation, however, I've seen so many things that are so condescending and insulting, mostly because they were predicated on the notion that people are defined by their sexuality, but some just because they're flat-out gross.

There are reasons for that, but I'll spare you since I'm sure this post will already be forever paragraphs long.

Point is, to me, Pride means standing up for the people who came before, and respecting their sacrifice by learning their story, and those who will come after, by doing what I can to make the world even easier for them to find comfort and joy in. It's an ongoing struggle, but it's rooted in pride in oneself, pride in an identity based that endured a whole culture calling it a sickness. Not that they've stopped, they just don't have it enshrined in law...

For now...

Doomsaying aside, I find the commercialization of our struggle intrinsically offensive, and I find corporations are far too generous with their assumptions on how they should communicate with us, especially when so many of them donate to bigoted religious organizations and politicians who consistently vote against us.

I have an example here from a company called "Postmates," but I found it deeply offensive in general for a lot of reasons I will be very surprised should I have to outline them to anyone who chooses to watch it, but it's specifically geared towards gay men who have a more passive or "bottom" sexual dynamic, so watch it at your own risk.

To wit, it's cheap to say you support us, and allies will show increased interested in their products and services for their acceptance-in-name-only, and most of the time so will other LGBTQ people, lulled by the idea that their bare-minimum gesture means we're somehow safer and more accepted, which we aren't. They just ran the numbers with whether or not grant us superficial visibility on their dime, and figured out the bigots turning away was worth the minor fluctuation in customer base, to facilitate long-term cultural integration.

Yes, I speak Corporation. Even being an addict, it's the part of me I had the most.

If corporations cared, they could support us financially or through their numerous lobbyists. They do not. They just slap a bunch of symbols they don't respect and don't know anything about all over whatever it'll fit on, and then they count the money. That's the game. And, just as in politics, we are all lashed to the pawns as they toss us to rooks, knights, and bishops, so they can feel like they've just won the battle.

I will close by saying, once I am out, I will attend a march every year, and volunteer as much as I can manage, until I can't anymore. I'll stick around here too, offering what advice I can to those taking their first steps.

If you've read all that, I thank you for your time and applaud you for your patience with my somewhat pretentious manner of expressing myself.

Love and - despite the dark memories it carries - I earnestly hope this month is happy and peaceful for all of you.

 

I basically treat this like every other month. I think it really doesn't help others who don't want to celebrate it, which is natural. It just gets exhausting trying to explain to someone like my mother that "no, bisexual people are capable of committed relationships and don't just look for the nearest hole to intrude on. At least not most of us. It really doesn't change others' minds who don't want their minds changed.

 

Ever since leaving here 8 years ago, I had optimism for things to change in the public eye when it comes to LGBTQ people. Now that I'm grown and had the optimism ground out of me, it almost feels as if I have to be underground with my own interests to please others. Hell even the more L G and B which are more expressed in media are limited to basic stereotypes of their characters. If you ask me it boils down to people refusing to even think about these things. Hearing things from other people who have no experience or jurisdiction on the topic but take it as gospel. It's not even worth trying to dispel those rumors sometimes because they're so ingrained in the collective conscious of the prior generation which bleeds into this current one. While inclusiveness is on the rise, it's a factor of 5% to 10% if anything and not much of a difference in public opinion. It's mostly demoralizing in my opinion.

 

Pride month has always held a place close to my heart. I attended the first pride parade in Toronto in 1981, at the age of 10 with my parents (I honestly think they heard ‘parade’ and thought “the kids would like that” ). I’ve attended every year I could since. I am not out as a transgendered person (yet - I’m working on it) … so attending to support family, friends, and the community as whole was somewhat liberating, under the circumstances, because while I could say out loud I was there for others, inside I was there for me too.

But I’m with you, too. I don’t buy the merch or wear a rainbow (I was always a little punk … so the closest I got was a Pink Floyd shirt with the prism and rainbow ). Pride month to me was always about inclusion and not feeling so alone. Recent politicalization and subsequent exclusions has turned me off it a bit though - even though I understand the thought process behind them, I don’t support those decisions.

im sorry to hear this is a lonely time for you. While it may never be the thing for you - I hope that things like pride month bring forward enough public education, so that you don’t face so many barriers to overcoming that loneliness in the future.

 

I don't do anything with it. I don't like parades and crowds all that much.

I barely celebrate any of the holidays during the year. They're holidays where other people are making a big deal of them and having their fun while I look at them as just another day or month.

 

I feel the same way.

I would say the first few years of me coming out, I would go to the Pride events within my city and I would go to the Pride Parade. Now, if I know some friends are going, I may tag along, but I don't really make it a point to go. I think it's wonderful that other people enjoy going though.