I came out tonight...so why do I feel dread?

@cornersky - Hi. I'm just getting to some older posts in this forum, and I came across this one. YES, I can relate to the mixed feelings of relief and regret/anxiety. I am 51 and came out to my wife of 25 years a few months ago. But my life hasn't really changed. The other few people I came to are also gay, so they were " safe". I haven't worked up the courage to come out to any friends who are straight, let alone my parents or my sister. I am also looking for ways to get beyond the dread/anxiety and feel more joy. So far, therapy, reading posts on EC, and looking for a gay community is what I'm doing.

 

Hey im sorry that you are finding it so hard to come out to the people you deem as less safe. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you may wish you were moving faster but in the grand scheme of your life a few months isnt that long. You have managed to talk to your wife and some gay friends, that is amazing and must have taken a lot of courage. Sometimes after managing to take big steps like that you just need to pause and breathe for a bit before making more big strides forwards. You will get there just give yourself time.

 

Thank you @silverhalo ! I hope so!

 

Man can I relate to the "safe" and "unsafe" people right now. I have a whole slew of shipmates from my navy days that quite frankly scare the shit out of me to come out to. These are guys that l lived with and risked our lives together. I would be devastated if any hated me because of this. It is real easy to say they aren't true friends unless they do support you, but they are true friends because of the bond formed protecting each other and living through the shit we did. To lose that because of this.... man. I know that most of that is my brain shorting out. That they are true friends and would support me, razz the shit out of me but have my back. Like the brothers we are.

Thanks for this from me too! This helps me a lot too!

 

@Isbjorn - Yeah, I definitely know what you mean. I don't have shipmates from the Navy, but I have friends of 25 years or more that I really don't want to lose. And, more importantly, why would I come out to them if I can't (or don't know how to) pursue finding a guy who I like and share common interests with?