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What does attraction mean?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Shelbee, May 17, 2022.

  1. Shelbee

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    I have been questioning my sexuality for a while and one thing that has really caught me up is the idea of gender being just a social construct. I've been trying to break down what attraction means to me and I know it's more than just physical body parts. But then what is it? Is it the way people are socialized? Is it the feminine/masculine energy they exude(but then where do fem men and masc women fit in)? Or does none of that really matter if you love who they are on the inside?

    This is probably very different from person to person but I'm hoping hearing how other feel about this will help me understand my own attraction.
     
  2. Isbjorn

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    Each person will have their own definition of attraction, or what they are attracted to. For me attraction is weighted. Weighted heavier on the personality side than the physical side. How deep the person is and whether that depth is something I am also into. There is a physical aspect as well, body type etcetera. I would say that it is fluid too, based on how horny I am! :laughing: I would say on average my long-term attraction would tend toward 75% intellectual/emotional depth and 25% physical attraction. Now when my little head and his two hairy friends are involved, that is a whole 'nother matter. Then the numbers can skew into the 110% physical and -10% intellectual/emotional depth. The ratio varying based on many factors, including the time lapse since the last "thought" purge of the little head. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  3. bsg75apollo

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    For me personality is always the deciding or overriding factor. There have been times where someone is physically my type (and I do have a type) and their personality could kill any attraction. There are other times where personality makes up for any physical deficit. There have also been wildcard times where there has been somebody who did not fit what I would normally find attractive.
     
  4. bambibat

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    I kinda have different levels of attraction. I’m initially drawn to looks (and intelligence) but their personality has to be right for it to deepen beyond a surface level. I can be slightly picky about things, I admit! One time I found this woman on a dating app who seemed relatively my type, but the moment I heard her speaking my attraction just went to zero haha.

    In the weaker form (like a fleeting attraction I don’t feel the desire to act on) I’d describe it as when a person makes some kind of visual impact on me — like maybe there’s something about their hair or eyes that strikes me and I might fondly remember it for a while.

    I consider it a stronger form of attraction when it goes beyond this to the point where I may catch myself thinking about a person more than once in a day, and I’d like to get to know them better.

    I only consider it a full-on “crush” when I find myself giddy at the thought of being near them, I get jealous if I they pay attention to someone else, and I can picture myself enjoying a kiss and other physical activities with them. This last type is a pretty rare experience for me though.
     
  5. silverhalo

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    Attraction is not just physical, it is so much more than that but at the same time, along side the emotional and romantic attraction you have to be physically attracted to them. By this I dont mean you have to take one look at someone and want to undress them in your mind or take them to bed immediately but if you are going to be in a relationship with someone you have to want all of them, their friendship, their conversation, their personality and their body. It is a complete package their mind, body and soul if you like. Without all of those things long term the relationship wont be a happy one.
     
    DelightfulWave, bambibat and Really like this.