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Homophobic response or am I overreacting?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Lek, May 9, 2022.

  1. Lek

    Lek
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    I post my work on a poetry forum.

    Recently, I posted a love poem that was clearly tagged as "LGBT, Love" Anyone can read and comment on it.

    It received this response:

    "A humourous poem fun to read. Well written tongue-in-the cheek."

    I was shocked.

    I know it shouldn't bother me, but I can't help but wonder if that response was homophobic. I don't know how to handle this feeling that my work has been discounted and sneered at because it has a gay love theme. Am I overreacting?
     
  2. quebec

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    Lek.....It's actually a little hard to tell just from what you've said. Would you like to share the poem with us? It might help us give you an answer and we would have a chance to enjoy your poem!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  3. bsg75apollo

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    Yes, please share otherwise it's impossible to tell.
     
  4. Lek

    Lek
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    The Difference Between Here & Whenever

    i.
    my ribcage had to be strapped around my lungs.
    so you see why i’m nervous about getting tickled.
    although your hugs hold my insides,
    i am outside myself.

    when the dark held us
    full of breath and damp
    lips twinned you here
    (inevitably chock full of history)
    we spoke our names.
    M’s: from throats open, teeth bared, tongues curled.
    you were the sea at the edge of a sonata (i could hear it
    in your sounds), the difference
    between here and whenever.

    unavoidably the 20 black-and-white shots
    of you eaten by the sea, jazzing
    the waves, aren’t inside the camera—
    they line the cones of my eyes;
    and when i lie in the dark,
    i press my fingers to eyelids and watch you.

    the sea in your yes
    undertows me. soft blood
    pools in my hand that you grip.
    your voice swims ocean green-hued, like ripples.
    but i am not your eyes.
    this is the difference
    between now
    and whenever.

    ii.
    we walked Santa Monica Bay full of parents and kites
    and i remember we held on (though we protected
    ourselves by not). here you told me you studied
    the shore (those small blue-footed jellyfish, sand
    castle worms, “Nudibranchia.”) and what the waves
    mean to you (the sweetest Chopin you played as reds
    and hard) and in your dreams you memorized watery
    cadences. each morning you played,
    fingers sexy on white keys, my ribs.

    we wandered the windy cliffs profoundly away
    from the highway (though perhaps deeply into a script)
    and we nibbled sugary ripe figs above the seagulls
    at sunlevel chiseled in embrace.
    this, too, is the difference between here
    and when i wanted to dive feet-first into the Pacific.

    iii.
    as a boy Japanese gulls tapped at your bedroom window
    cawing you to play with the waves’ tones
    in the backyard of volcanic sand.
    but the boy in the states played
    saxophone and lulled you with secret ideas of love,
    played you with stiff embouchure and frightened your
    mother.

    then you met Forever in high school and the two of you
    performed courageous “Nocturnes” amid rock’n’roll students.
    three-years on, the residue of his lips
    remains in your pillow’s folds.
    history is the difference between here and whenever.
    whenever you are away, my body is scented of you.

    iv
    whenever you’re away,
    my body is scented of you
    i hunger for figs.
    the phone interrupts creaking floorboards.
    i confess that the shades lurking
    in the hallway speak
    pig-Latin.
    they press their noses at my boyhood
    windows pretending to be wraiths.

    but whenever you aren’t here, i let them
    into my room to shake me up and loosen my lungs.
    when you arrive
    i forget my ribcage sometimes slips.
    my hands are always full:
    you are in them
    and nobody had to tell me
    there’s no such thing as
    . . . whenever.
     
  5. quebec

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    Lek.....well I certainly see nothing humorous or "Tongue-in-cheek" about your poem. I do like it...I can see myself in it.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  6. bsg75apollo

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    I will admit that I am not a poetry aficionado and I'd probably have to reread it many more times to even come close to appreciating. I don't see anything particularly tongue in cheek about it, but I don't think that the comment is particularly homophobic. More like somebody who is pretentious and thinks they no more than they do.
     
  7. Lek

    Lek
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    Thank you, quebec, for your kind words.

    bsg745apollo, A particular poem speaks to a reader or it doesn't. I appreciate that you took the time to read it.

    As for the rude comment on the poetry forum, I've realized a few things. I get quite anxious when I post my work because I'm afraid that I won't get positive feedback. I realize that there is a part of me seeking attention. Instead, I have to keep in mind that I post my work because I want constructive criticism and support from other poets.

    Whether or not the rude comment was homophobic, it was hostile. This is very clear to me. I should expect hostile comments, especially in today's social environment. I just need to know that 1) I won't respond to hostility and 2) I won't give trolls power by feeling upset.
     
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  8. GraceMiamor

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    Whoever told you that it was tongue in cheek is very rude and should watch what they are saying because to those of us that are gay or lesbian would take offense to it
     
  9. BiGemini87

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    Firstly, that was a beautiful poem! I'm very picky where poetry is concerned, and I think yours is really well done.

    The comment seems so bizarre to me, because outwardly, it doesn't seem hostile--but looking at the poem and then it, it doesn't make any sense. I can't say for certain of course, not knowing what the commenter intended, but it seemed like a backhanded compliment. Like they wanted to seem complimentary, but also like they wanted you to know they thought very little of it.

    It might be homophobic, but I think it more likely that it was just being generally disrespectful, and that any homosexuality inherent in the poem wasn't the focus of their disdain. Just my perspective though, and you are certainly entitled to be annoyed with the comment, because it does seem rather dismissive.
     
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  10. Lek

    Lek
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    Thanks, GraceMiamor, for your comment.

    BiGemini87, thank you for reading it and your lovely feedback about it.

    As I said, from my reaction to the comment, I learned that part of me is posting to seek attention and approval and that I was giving power to the "troll" by feeling hurt. Instead, I need to focus on the real reason I post on the poetry forum: getting constructive criticism and support. If that means putting up with an occasional homophobe or troll, I won't respond and I'll try not to let it crack my self-esteem.
     
  11. TinyWerewolf

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    Just wanted to say that I loved this poem, especially the lines about playing ribs like piano keys and pulling eyelids shut to watch memories of them. That was a brilliant and unique way to add some sensory details. I'm probably a bit too literal in the head for some of it to be fully appreciated as it deserves, but I thought it was lovely. Don't let that hater ruin it for you.
     
  12. Lek

    Lek
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    TinyWerewolf: Thank you for reading it and sharing your thoughts about it. Whatever a reader takes away from a poem is legitimate. Thank you for your support.
     
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