I spend quite a lot of time here on Empty Closets talking to people from all over the world, but tonight I got a surprise from right here where I live. A former student, one of the first people that I came out to, asked to facetime me and just blurted out that he is trans MtF and has been on HRT for five months. No warning, no preamble, just BAM! I'm transgender MtF! even though I know them very well it came as a pretty big surprise. So we had a pretty serious conversation. I've known them since they were 13 years old and feel like they are one of my own kids. It sure puts things in a different light when you're talking to someone close to you...ok, I feel like everyone here on EC is close, we are all part of our LGBTQIA+ Family, but when you've actually watched them grow up it just feels different. It just brings home to me how important the work is that we do here on EC. Not just the staff, but all of the members responding to other members and everyone reaching out to help each other. I'm honored that I could be there for them as they were there for me and I am so proud of all the members here on Empty Closets who take their time to reach out and help other members through the difficult times that we all have to work our way through. .....David
And the story continues…One of the reasons that my former student came to me, aside from coming out as trans, was to ask if they could have their meds delivered to my house. They haven’t yet come out to their parents and are not yet ready to have that conversation with their folks. Of course I needed to discus this with my wife before I could give them a green light to do that. For those who may not know, I am out to my wife. We haven’t had very many conversations about the LGBT Community…just a few at the beginning when I first came out to her. I sensed that she felt quite uncomfortable with the subject and so left it to her to ask questions, etc. Whenever she felt the need…which she has done occasionally. So today we had a two-hour drive and she asked me what being transgender meant and why my former student would need medications, etc. That lead to a two-hour conversation about almost everything pertaining to the LGBTQIA+ Community. I had told her when I came out to her about Empty Closets, but now I was able to really describe what we do and even tell her that I am now a member of the staff. It was one of those times when an opportunity just opened up and it was really wonderful being able to share with my wife all about something that has become a major part of my life for the last seven years. I have had to live the major part of my life in stealth. To most of the people who know me I am the man who built a large, successful music program in the local high school, taught in the junior and senior high schools for 33 years. Took their kids to the Rose Parade, performed in Philadelphia, Washington DC, Denver, San Francisco and all over the Pacific Northwest of the United States… binging home hundreds of trophies over those years. To me I was a guy desperately trying to hide that he was gay in the middle of a community that would have torn him apart just for being near their children. Wondering what his life would have been like if only he could actually be his real self instead of always hiding. So today for two hours, because a former student decided to come out as trans to me, I got to be open and completely honest with my wife. She asked a lot of questions and I got to answer those questions. It was wonderful! …..David
It's great that both of those conversations took place. The world is changing and it will continue to change as more and more people refuse to be limited by the standards and ideas that other people impose upon us.
David, What a wonderful opportunity on that car ride. I hope you and your wife get more excuses to share. I am so glad you are on staff. It is cool that you’ve got an opportunity to be supportive in real life too. You didn’t mention if you and your wife are deciding about whether your address can be used, but no matter the answer it is great that you could be approachable for that.
DecentOne.....Thanks you for the kind words. It was a really unexpected, outstanding conversation. The best and longest that we've had since I came out to her. We've had several, but I've tended to let her take the lead on this. She has been so wonderful and accepting when it could have so easily gone the other way that I don't want to "push" her. I'm ready to discus any aspect of LGBT, but I want her to feel comfortable with it and so I have been very careful not to make her uncomfortable. She was fine with having the meds delivered at our house almost before she knew why. She has known them for as long as I have and they have been here at our house many times. .....David
