What can I do to get this guy out of my head once for all?

Hello guys.

First of all let me start by saying I'm a 29 year old gay guy and I've never had a boyfriend. However, I was working for a company from late october 2021 until January 27th when I was fired.

Well, it was a temporary contract for three months and after that my boss was going to decide if I stayed or left. At the end of the day he decided not to renew the contract, which practically was the same as being fired. So while I was working there I met a guy from another area who I got attracted to the moment I saw him and I think he was very attracted to me, too. Well, some of my co-workers, who were good friends with me, said that he talked a lot about me that even they joked that he liked me.

I also noticed his reactions when he tried to talk to me or start conversations, he got nervous and didn't look at me in the eye.

The first weeks I remember he went to my area to start a conversation and get to know me better, he even once said I could ask him for help with work when I needed. After that, he stopped talking to me and started playing hard to get (Acting kind of cold). So I stopped talking to him, too and we didn't talk to each other for weeks. Whereas, I could notice some behavior of him that made me think he liked me.

First: He did some things like going to my area in his free time, he pretended to go talk with my other co-workers, but he was there just because I was there, too. He asked my co-workers what my schedule was, he looked for ways to run into me and asked my co-workers where I was. He even started to eat in the dining room with the other workers, which my co-workers found weird and said he didn't do that before I started working there. One day out of the blue he started talking to me again and asked how I was and we had a conversation that day. Whereas, this behavior of his started to kind of scare me. I mean, the part where he tried to run into me and asked the others about my schedule, so I started ignoring him again, so did he. Another day he went to my area to start a conversation with me but I ignored him and went to the bathroom to avoid him. Then he followed me to the bathroom and pretended to be urinating next to me. After that I got kind of scared and left the bathroom quickly and I hid somewhere near my work area. While I was hidden, I noticed he passed by my area again looking for me, but he didn't see me, as I was hidden. So after that he just went away. I don't know guys, it made me think this guy was obsessed with me. I also have hypochondria, which made me think he was one of those stalkers like the ones who appear in movies. However, I don't think it was true at all, as this guy seemed fearful of me, as I said earlier, he got very nervous when I was around and seemed fearful of rejection from my part, too. So after that day when he followed me, I was completely willing to ignore him and move on, I was kind of afraid because for a moment I thought he was an stalker, so I said to myself (I don't need this guy, I'm still young and good looking and I don't need this guy in my life). As time went by, I don't know what happened but one day suddenly I thought for a moment I had missed an opportunity to have a relationship with someone worthy, just by thinking the things he did like looking for me or trying to get to know me. So one day I looked for him to apologize for being rude to him that day, as the days after that he seemed upset with me, distant and didn't talk to me (He felt rejected, it was very obvious), so I apologized to him and he accepted my apology. However, after that I noticed something changed. he suddenly stopped showing up in those places where I was like the dining room or the areas where I worked and it made me think he lost interest in me. To be honest, we both played hard to get on each other, I liked to be chased by him. In fact, he seemed to like being chased by me, too. It seems like he was playing games, but I don't know.

So I was confused and felt kind of bad because as I mentioned earlier, it made me think he lost interest in me. So after that, he didn't showed up in those places anymore, the only thing he did was that when he passed by my area, he stared at me from a distance to see where I was and that's it.

One thing I want to highlight is that during my time working there, I thought/ruminated about him several times a day and was anxious/ stressed just by thinking about him. Actually, during my time working there I felt stressed/anxious just by thinking I was going to run into him or simply by knowing he worked there. Yes, I know it sounds crazy but whenever I have a crush on a guy, I always get anxious/very nervous that I don't dare to start conversations with them for fear of rejection and I've let many opportunities pass because of that.

Even though I haven't seen him since January 27th (same day when I was fired), I still think about him.

How can I get this guy out of my mind for peace of mind?

Please guys don't tell me to try to reach out to him.

I've been feeling a bit anxious since I was fired, because I liked working there and miss some of my co-workers and miss this guy, although we were nothing and nothing happened between us. One of the reasons I wanted to stay in that workplace was to continue seeing him and as I said before, I liked the environment and the company, despite most of my co-workers being toxic people. In fact, it was a company where you can grow and be promoted.

Currently I'm 29 years old and I'll turn 30 in July (the end of my youth I think). In fact, my plan was to enjoy what's left of my twenties free of any thoughts related to him, but I don't know if it'll be possible. That's why I want to ask you for advice on how to get over all of this this as fast as possible, the only thing that I feel is helping me is going for walks, mindfulness meditation.

So what do you guys think of this situation?

I have this weird belief that thinking about this guy is a waste of time and youth.

Thank you in advance and sorry for the long post. I'm sorry if my english isn't good enough, given that it isn't my native language. Have a good day.

 

Hello, I can't tell him that I miss him because I don't work at that company anymore.

And no, he hasn't tried to reach out to me since I was fired. That's why I want to move on.

By the way, what do you mean that I shouldn't waste more time?

Do you mean that I've wasted time by thinking about him?

If so, How can I move on fast?

Thank you for your response.

 

No, unfortunately I don't. Actually, some of the co-workers, who I worked with during my time there, were kind of homophobic and thought I was straight. I don't know how they'd react if I told them. Despite that, they were good people and treated me well during my time working there.

But no, I don't have any way to contact him. I think the best thing to do is move on and remember this as an experience.

Thank you for your response and for your time and good luck.

 

What did you mean with that?

I didn't really understand your answer?

Could you please be more specific?

 

Did you mean the part where I said I get very anxious/stressed by the guys I like?

 

Here it is: Whenever I have a crush on a guy, I always get anxious/very nervous that I don't dare to start conversations with them for fear of rejection and I've let many opportunities pass because of that.

I just copied and pasted it from my original thread.

 

BlueLion what did zuice mean with that statement?

I'm a little bit lost.