How to be submissive in a healthy way?

Yes, it makes sense and it sounds very familiar. I need to give it a little thought.

 

It's attractive to me, but hard to read. My friend is not a charmer, but he's showing affection by caring for me. I had to open up to him first to earn his trust. It takes a lot of determination. Sorry, that I'm talking about my stuff, but I want ask you a question. Would you like a boy who is flirty with you and help you open up on that, or you don't like flirting at all and you prefer to have a boy who is not flirty, just like you?

 

It is never easy to balance these kinds of energies. Unfortunately, it is something to work at daily. Fortunately, you've taken the first step which is becoming aware of it. I think that you just have to work at acknowledging those moments when your needs aren't being met, take a moment, breathe, realize that you have a right to have your needs met, push aside the doubts and fears, and just ask.

 

Just like my friend exactly. Your love language is beautiful. Always be yourself and don't try to change. I'm the flirty one and I was struggling, because he could do everything for me, but all I needed was a hug. I didn't give up, but not everyone is god of patience like me, so make sure you give them physical signs. You don't have to be flirty, but something like a hug or grabbing hand is enough to show interest, and reward their efforts.

 

I think some people get the wrong idea about flirting and they really build it up in their minds. They regard it as something overt; a kind of art that you need to be skilled in, when it's really nothing of the sort. Most people don't flirt in overt ways with neat one-liners that hook people like a fish. In the overwhelming majority of cases it's a lot more subtle... it's about showing interest, being attentive, developing conversation and offering kind responses and deserved compliments. It's about smiling and being open and genuine. If we set our minds to it, we can all do these things.

When you talk about standing up for yourself, that's something different. It's more about confidence and self esteem and how your perceive yourself in dialogue and relationship with others. If this is a problem area for you it might be worth investigating with a therapist who can look at the causative issues and maybe help you out with some confidence training or assertiveness training.