SO- she tried adding me back and I looked at it for a straight two hours. we talked but I kept it strictly jus for closer so that I stop panicking over it. Thennnnn she says "Baby I'm sorry." and I have a full break down. Im going to block her again and not look back, but still I feel so empty. It's all getting too much. everything I see reminds me of her, our matching hoodie, the one I stole from her, our one year charm bracelet..whhy cant I jus stop? Stop thinking. Stop feeling like I need her, im perfectly fine along but my head keeps telling me I love her.
You can love someone so much but also need time away from them, and maybe even move on from them. I'm in a situation like the previous sentence with my family- they're transphobic/homophobic and I'm a bi trans man. I love them, but they're having a negative effect on me. Sometimes it's best to let people go, and that seems like it might be for the best with your now ex-girlfriend. I would say maybe give her a second chance if the circumstances were different, but I don't think that's a good idea here unless she says she's going to change her ways and actually does. Break-ups suck, but hopefully talking here will help. We're all here for you, DinoTail.
Being in this relationship had negative impact on your health - you mentioned cutting yourself. I think she doesn't deserve a second chance. If you still have feelings for her, then maybe take some time to decide. She apologized, but do you believe she will change?
thank you so much.. It has had a negative impact but part of me just wants her and I get that is stupid of me. I know I want to be with her but at the same time I wanna forget her,
I know how you feel, it's not stupid. I myself am very emotional and I couldn't throw away all good memories. I suppose it's the first time she really felt like she could lose you? This could be a breakthrough for her. I would probably give a second chance, but it's just me. Damage has been done, so it would be more like a trial period; watching if she really wants to change. If chance is wasted, then I could break up definitely with no remorse. Take your time to make the right decision. She should be happy to wait.
Well lastnight she jus stopped caring again. She made me feel like shit but then rn she is being sweet and trying to get me out of this depressed panicked mood. It's jus so off and on with her..
This might be blunt, but this is the time to tell her to make up her mind. She either needs to change her ways and quit being so on/off or she needs to let you be so you can move on. Then give her time to think about that. You're not a puppet and she's not pulling your strings- she needs to understand that.
It's not stupid of you; it's only natural that you're having a hard time moving on from her. I'm sure it doesn't help that she's back in contact, and likely has set you back on whatever progress you've made. My two cents are to stick to your guns. She was abusive and manipulative, and all I'm seeing from her trying to worm back into your life is more of the same. Maybe she doesn't see what she's doing for what it really is, but the reality is, she's already hurt you and had plenty of opportunities to turn things around before the breakup. If she really cared about you and your feelings, she would've made more of an effort when it counted. You deserve better than to have her jerk you around like this. Please, however hard it might be--stay strong. It may hurt, it may do so for a long while...but it's for the best. You will find someone to love, someone who will respect you and whatever boundaries you set. I don't think your ex is it. The choice is yours, of course. Just be careful if you do give her another chance.
