I think this has been a common thread during COVID, but for the past year plus Ive been thinking more critically about gender and presentation and how I feel. I’ve had a binder for about a year and enjoy when my chest is flatter. I’ve noticed things like not hating my genital area but not liking it either, or feeling comfortable when I have more hair there. I also realized that when I think about liking guys, I like them but only if they don’t see me in a womanly way. I’ve been identifying as somewhere on the trans spectrum for this time, but realizing more recently I feel more trans masculine. When I cut my hair short, I just felt so happy with how I looked. I haven’t seen a gender therapist yet, but I’m hoping to soon and am talking to my doc about transitioning. I guess when I think about taking steps like surgery or hormones, I get worried that I’m not certain or it’s all in my head or I’m just making it up. I guess I just need reassurance that this isn’t something cis people think about for so long, or to hear that these are valid thoughts for my gender experience.
These thoughts are valid and are actually very similar to how I feel about it too. It's very good, if you could talk to gender therapist about these feelings. Take baby steps and experiment. There is no need to rush.
Th Thank you for this ❤️ I realize too it’s hard for me to wrap my head around experimenting in the grand sense because I’m nervous about coming out. And when I break down my nerves, it’s that people won’t see me as a trans masc person which is a little validating that I’m probably trans?
You're welcome. Yeah I get it. I am in a similar boat, but experimenting can help you to get more clear feelings, if you would actually want to go all the way with this. Maybe you can make changes that won't raise a lot of questions, like wearing gender neutral clothing and having short hair. You can always say, that you are trying out a new style and see how people react.
Hey, do you have any advice on how to tell your family your questioning your gender? Like the person who started the thread, I'm struggling with my gender but I don't have access to experimental items like more masculine clothing or the option to cut my hair short without telling my parents. My mom is also close-minded on the type of clothing I wear and tries to get me to be as feminine as possible, which I dislike. Thank you if you are able to get back to me. I would appreciate it!
I would approach this carefully, since you are still dependant on your parents. I would wait until being able to move out and save up for when you are older, because you said your mother is close minded when it comes to clothes, then she might not react too well. If you have to come out with you questioning your gender, then your own safety is most important, so maybe you know for sure that someone in your family or relatives is open minded and would support you and help you out or maybe there are lgbtq+ club in your school or local lgbtq+ center, where you could ask for support. You can write your parents a letter how you feel about it, also initial reaction might not always be how they really feel, so it's also important to give your parents time to adjust and be prepared to answer all the questions they might have.
