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Letting Go

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by DinoTail, Jan 27, 2022.

  1. DinoTail

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    So..I was in a relationship for over a year with this girl and everything was so perfect. Perfect unless she was upset. When she got upset she'd say things and hurt me yet I'd stay because I care so much about her. As we were together I was clean of cutting for 2 years, then after being told I was nothing and she doesnt care I started again. She was so perfect to me when she wasnt upset and ig im just stupid for wanting her. I ended up losing all respect for myself when I was with her and I was scared to leave, I ended up leaving tho so it okay. Still part of me is clinging onto that relationship.
    How can I get over someone who one second treated me like the only girl in the world, then the next acted like she didnt care?
    Did I do the right thing by leaving? :disappointed_relieved:
     
  2. TinyWerewolf

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    Heck yes, you did the right thing. You aren't stupid for loving someone. I know getting over her won't be easy, but you will eventually get over her. Getting over someone is basically grieving what you had together and them as a person, so it's going to take time, but you can do this.
     
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  3. DinoTail

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    Thank you so much
     
  4. TinyWerewolf

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    You're welcome. :slight_smile:
     
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  5. Y2B

    Y2B
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    I wonder what makes her so upset? If it's not your fault then you shouldn't take hits. You did the right thing by leaving her. Time will verify if you were the only one in the world. If she cares she will contact you and apologize.
     
    #5 Y2B, Jan 27, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2022
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  6. DinoTail

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    it was mainly her father, she jus took it all out on me
     
  7. BiGemini87

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    You definitely did the right thing. <3 I know it's painful, especially when you remember all the good--but the good didn't outweigh the bad, and whatever caused her to act the way she did, it wasn't okay for her to take it out on you.

    I think all you can do is take it one day at a time. Be gentle with yourself, and focus on things that make you happy. When you need a good cry, let yourself have one; when you want to engage with one of your hobbies, enjoy it as much as possible. Distract yourself to the best of your ability, take joy in all the things that are going right, no matter how small they may seem. And if you can, get together with friends. It's amazing how much healing you can do when surrounded by the right people. :slight_smile:
     
    #7 BiGemini87, Jan 27, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2022
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  8. DinoTail

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    Thank you so much, I'll take that advice and try not to be so hard on myself.
     
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  9. BiGemini87

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    Any time. :slight_smile: If you ever need to reach out, please don't hesitate to. The EC staff are happy to help in whatever way we can.
     
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  10. PatrickUK

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    Relationships are hard work and disagreements will always arise unless you are clones of each other, but when you truly love and care for someone you don't allow your temper to boil over, to the extent that you say hurtful and damaging things that undermine your girlfriend/boyfriend or partners confidence and self worth. If it happens once, it's once too often, but if it continues to happen it's time to go. The emotional turmoil you endured made it far from a perfect relationship (important to see it like that) and you absolutely did the right thing in ending it. There was a degree of emotional manipulation going on and you are well out of it. Do not look back!

    The important thing now is to be patient with yourself, learn from the experience and resolve never to allow it to happen again. Dating is a bit of a learning curve and we have to set reasonable boundaries that nobody can be allowed to cross. If this experience has taught you not to allow people to mess with your feelings, that's actually a good thing - even if it doesn't necessarily feel like it, right now.
     
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