I want to at least kiss a woman before I die. Online dating seems to be a bust though, I've installed, deleted and reinstalled apps so many times only to get nowhere. No one actually seems interested in meeting, sometimes we even talk for months and they instantly block me when I suggest a date. Ugh, why? What was the point? Yet if I ask too early it's seen as desperate and I don't even freaking know anymore. There's got to be more to life than this. Then constantly job searching whilst living with my parents. I miss uni sometimes. Frankly I'm even tiring of video games. I want to create art, but I'm having a bit of an art block at the moment. If money wasn't an object, I'd go travelling. Maybe I need a new hobby. I need a reason to leave the house other than just shopping or walking through almost endless fields just for the sake of it. Almost makes me wish I were straight, I'd probably be killing it as a straight man. I think I'd rather be a straight man than a straight woman, but I don't mind being a woman. A shame spin the bottle is considered a teenage thing, I've always wanted to play. Heck even just going to parties in general. I wish I didn't get overwhelmed so easily. My sensory overloads aren't great, I wish I didn't experience them and I could just go to these events and have fun and not be like how I am.
I empathize with your frustration with dating apps. Much like you, I've done the same thing, installing, uninstalling, and re-installing the same apps all with the idea that "maybe this time it will be different". I think some people have great success with them, but it seems to really depend on 1) the area you live in, 2) how many people are actually using it for that purpose, and 3) whether you're willing to drop a ridiculous amount of money on something that doesn't guarantee success. I guess the question is, what is in your budget/what is open at the present time? Like you, I get overwhelmed socially, especially when there is a lot going on, so again I can empathize. Maybe try seeking out places that don't get a lot of traffic, like niche hobby shops or other organizations that cater to your interests. You mentioned art--perhaps you can check to see if there are any art studios or events coming up in your area? Sorry this isn't much to work with, but if nothing else, I hope it helps sparks some ideas for you.
I don't spend money on dating apps, I stick to free versions with adverts. The area in theory shouldn't be too much of an issue, it's a small area, but it's well-connected in terms of public transport to larger places. As for the second point, I have noticed that a great deal of people I talk to simply want one-off conversations and aren't interested in talking further. Maybe I'm bad at conversation. I certainly get plenty of matches (not to brag), but we usually just end up talking gaming strategies or discussing poetry or books and it becomes a question of how to continue that conversation. That's the problem with online conversation sometimes, the beginning and the end aren't as clear and you never fully know if the person is no longer interested, or if they ever were, or if you just both don't know what else to say. I'm good at making friends, but showing interest in another person is another minefield in itself. Especially with someone that you barely know, speaking in an online dating space. You don't want to come across as too strong, but you don't want to act disinterested either. Frankly it's a wonder how anyone ever manages to do this whole dating thing, online or otherwise. Spending too much time in such spaces can also be rather...well, discouraging. In regards to seeing where other people who are the same age as me are in their life. I know I shouldn't compare, but it can be difficult not to. Makes me wonder whether I'll ever 'get it together' as it were.
I definitely get where you're coming from. I'm not a great conversationalist (I'm used to being the listener), so it often ends up awkward. Of course, it also gets redundant when the only messages you receive from the same person involve a lot of repetition. And you're right; it's hard to gauge someone's interest over DMs, especially when you haven't had the chance to speak with them irl. As for the comparison thing... Unfortunately, it's something we all fall prey to. I think the important thing to remind yourself is that it isn't a race; we're all going through life at our own pace, and following different paths in the doing. I know it might sound cliche, but you're not that old yet; barring unforeseen tragedy, you have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do with your life/who you want to do it with. There's no shame in not having a specific direction right now. You'll get there, when you're ready. And remember, we're not living through ordinary times right now. Try to cut yourself some slack. The past one and a half to two years have been incredibly daunting. You're doing your best, even if your best sometimes is just getting up in the morning.
Have you considered going to a lesbian bar. I just googled and eight different ones came up for london.
Perhaps if I can find any lesbian bars in the North, then maybe I'll go to one in the future. I haven't looked into it.
I understand your frustration...I'm just looking for friends right now and that's hard enough online. It sometimes feels like it takes a lot of effort to find someone you really "click" with, but even when you do find someone and invest time and energy into the relationship it doesn't always work out. I keep telling myself to keep trying, that there must be other people out there in the same boat so I keep looking but I can't help but feel discouraged sometimes. I have found that online games with a social component can be a good way to meet people, because you automatically have something to talk about and sometimes that leads to talking about more personal things. You just need to find one that tends to attract women.
