Hi, I'm 63 and not sure where I fit (if anywhere!). I'm biologically male, cis and straight, but I've never been comfortable identifying as male. I'm just me, a unique person. I've never experienced dysmorphia but in high school I used to wish that I would wake up in the morning and be a girl (it didn't happen, go figure!). I didn't date in high school or college, met someone after graduation and quickly got married (didn't think anyone else would want me so I jumped at th4e first girl who said hello). I let my identity issues go but it's always been in the background. Been married for 38 years. My wife is fairly oblivious (old time strict Catholic) but she knows I'm "in touch with my feminine side." My daughter is a bit more in tune -- she refers to my "15-year old inner lesbian." I've been in therapy for depression for a couple of years and have grown comfortable with the fact that I'm not exactly male, at least as most people think of it. I'm not comfortable with the roles that a male is expected to adopt in this society and I don't really like or get along with other men. I'm far more comfortable with women and have always wanted to have gal pals (which hasn't really worked out but that's for another time). My therapist is awesome and she sees me. She's trying to help me find ways to live authentically. . Since I've been with her, I've bought bracelets and necklaces, which I wear openly, and a couple of dresses, which I wear when my wife's asleep with the door locked. The first time I put one on, I felt like I was home. I play music and dance and feel at peace. This has to be a deep secret because my wife would not understand or accept it. Anyway, I love my wife and I'm not looking to mess with that or to come out at my age. I have no friends and I'm just looking for some human connection with someone who understands. I don't even know if this makes any sense . . . Thanks for listening.
Hello and welcome to EC! And no worries you make perfect sense. I know how scary it all is. It's very good you have a good therapist. It's nice to meet you. EC is a friendly and safe space to be yourself in and talk to the others who will understand.
Hello and welcome to EC! And no worries you make perfect sense. I know how scary it all is. It's very good you have a good therapist. It's nice to meet you. EC is a friendly and safe space to be yourself in and talk to the others who will understand.
Hi there, welcome! Don't worry, it's not all young people here (TikTok is the place, or so I've been told). First, I can understand you don't want to 'mess' with your marriage. Your wife seems to have made already an effort to understand you, which is a sign of Love. You are a very fortunate person, to have shared those years and still be together. My 'significant other' died, and in spite of being in other relationships, and still being surrounded by kind friends, I admit life is just not the same. It can seem daunting to face things we've been hiding deep within. After all life demands from you strength and courage, and the last thing we all of us is trouble. However, it seems so unfair that we neglect the person we should care about the most, don't you think? And after all, if you are not ok, hardly can you give others the best of yourself. I'm glad you come to us. Feel free to share and read around. This forum is full of kind people and we've seen many things. I don't think anyone here is going to find it 'shocking' that you have decided to explore a part of yourself. We all are here for that! Not to call you old, but there is a subform for LGTB later in life. Perhaps you can find interesting to read the ages and experiences of the people there. I sometimes post (and rant...) there. I'm half your age, but I've seen people on their 40s, 50s and 60s too. There is also another subform where you can share whatever you wish to share anonymously. Just get it out of your chest when it's too much. Last, but not least, I find men who explore their gender expression not just brave, but awesome. And some of you look simply stunning. Might have to do a lot with what comes out of your eyes when you are just being yourself. Happiness shines through. And if that is not attractive (and even sexy), I don't know what is... Enjoy.
PGG.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! There are a number of sub-forums here on EC...why don't you check them out and then feel free to join in the conversations! There is also a sub-forum here titled “Gender Identity and Expression” if you post there I think you’ll find people who will understand what you are dealing with. This is a safe community of loving, caring and very supportive people and we will do our best to help you blend into the community. You can ask questions in any of the Sub-forums by creating a new thread or by joining in a conversation-thread that is already going. You can also post a message on anyone's Profile Page after you have made at least ten posts yourself. If you have a question that is somewhat private you can always send a Private Message to any Staff Member. Normally Private Messages can only be exchanged between two Full Members, but a PM to a Staff Member is an exception. We are so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets! .....David
Thanks so much for the welcome. I'm going to hang around in the background for a bit and see what's what.
welcome! i felt a very similar way in the past. when i was figuring out my gender at the beginning of covid (gave me plenty of alone time to ponder) i just couldn't shake the feeling of not being in the right body. over time, i came to the conclusion that no matter what i was, it sure as hell wasn't a girl. i know it's not the exact same situation, but i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and everyone here is ready and willing to support you.
