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Not feeling comfortable wearing dresses anymore

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Obliteratrix47, Nov 18, 2021.

  1. Obliteratrix47

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    I'm a straight female and the feeling of wearing dresses doesn't fit me anymore. I have Pinterest and I have saved pins of clothes for masculine women. Am I a masculine woman, even if I'm not big fan of sports and I sometimes put make up, but wearing boy clothes fit me? If I consider wearing them in high school, I think kids might think that I'm a stereotypical lesbian. I know clothes don't say about our sexuality, but it's kinda scary that many straight people, who dress as the opposite sex, had to hear mean and nasty comments from others. :frowning2:
     
  2. Rayland

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    Some clothes just fit better for certain body types. Just wear what you want to wear. There is so many crazy fashion out there, that there are something for everybody. When I was younger I was so shy, that I was even afraid to wear certain different clothing, than I was used to. When I became older I started envy people who wore all these crazy and colorful clothing and thought that they were very brave and because of that all I started paying less atention to what people think about my outfits and I wanted to start experiment more with how different clothes fit me and if I would like to wear it and how it made me feel, wearing it outside. Maybe you could do that as well. Experiment and see how people react.
     
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  3. Unsure77

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    Short of you wearing a tuxedo or bow tie out and about, it seems unlikely people would notice. You wearing jeans and a t- shirt likely stands out much less than someone assigned male at birth wearing a dress. Also, what you’re describing is why gender stereotypes and dumb and pointless.

    Because I was gay, I spent my youth terrified of being seen as too masculine, and all I succeeded in doing was making myself more awkward (by trying to pretend to be things I wasn’t), making my self confidence worse, and my friends noticed. Wear what makes you feel good and makes you feel confident. If someone judges you for it, they’re not your person. I realize that’s easier said than done.

    If nothing else, you can buy and outfit or two that you actually like, wear them out and about, and see how it feels. Worst comes to worst, if it’s too much, then just get through that day and don’t wear it again.
     
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  4. Canterpiece

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    I wish someone had told me that you don't have to pick a side in High School. There was always this great pressure to either be a 'full tomboy' or a 'proper girly girl' yet that wasn't me. It never was. Yet I felt like I had to pick one back then. That I was either a tough tomboy or a girl who did make up and acted passive.

    Make up never really felt right, at least facial make up never did. I didn't like how it felt on my skin, it never felt like me. Yet, I enjoy wearing nail polish. Sometimes people try to make me put on more make-up, but I know my comfort level.

    I couldn't relate to femininity in the way it was presented, I wasn't a passive personality, nor did my femininity revolve around men. So I rejected it in favour of a tomboyish persona and tried to act tough, which proved to be unhealthy emotionally. I didn't like dresses back then either, not because I actually disliked them, but because I felt like I should dislike them.

    When I realised that I could do whatever I wanted, it was oddly freeing. That I could dress however I like depending on the day. Now there are days where I like to wear dresses but there are also days where wearing a dress would feel uncomfortable and fake. This was confusing at first, but for me, it's like there are two sides, a masculine and a feminine. Some days are masculine days, whereas others are more feminine. I feel sad when I am restricted to only one side of expression as both sides define me.

    Yet I remember what high school was like. I was perceived as fairly masculine back then and was subject to quite a few gay jokes and judgement. There were also jokes about my gender, about not counting as a girl. I wondered why I didn't just make life easier for myself and conform, but it never felt like me and I hated it whenever I did perform femininity in that way. They'd also call me various names related to prostitution if I ever styled my hair or acted more feminine, or I was called fake, so it seemed like whatever I did was always wrong in the eyes of others.

    When I left high school, I thought - stuff that. I'm just going to do whatever I want. So I did, and thankfully outside of high school people didn't care.
     
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  5. Obliteratrix47

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    Thank you, Rayland.
     
  6. Obliteratrix47

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    Wow. Thinking how it's very common for many same-sex attracted people to dress as the opposite sex just makes it harder for straight people who are into opposite sex stuff. My mom convinced me to wear a dress at Christmas, but I didn't want it because wearing dresses seems out of my character. I don't think she approved of my choice. Why can't I just wear something I like..? :frowning2:
     
  7. Obliteratrix47

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    You, ma'am, have my respects. I'm proud that you have the courage to wear however and whatever you like. I don't think I would have that courage to dress manly. I think buying a tie and a polo shirt wouldn't make me a stereotypical lesbian. I just need to be cautious of how I act and how I dress.
     
  8. Unsure77

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    I think you misunderstand what I was saying. I was afraid of being seen as gay, so I kept my hair long and tried to wear more feminine things and wear makeup and a younger person. And all I succeeded in doing was making myself miserable and even less confident because I wasn’t actually interested in or good at those things. And I was half-hearted in picking them out because I hated them and felt awkward in them, I would’ve been much better off if I had just picked the things I actually liked and naturally gravitated towards. Especially as an adult. Any grown adult who’s judging and behaving towards you based on your clothing is probably a judgmental, shallow jerk anyway. The people who I’ve know who were that way weren’t people I wanted in my life anyway, Or that has been my experience.
     
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  9. Obliteratrix47

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    I'm so sorry about this. I know how it was hard to be you. I just got back from the exhibition and bought a really cool bow tie for my high school photo.
     
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