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Gender identity is hard when people put you down.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Lea1961, Oct 17, 2021.

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  1. Lea1961

    Lea1961
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2021
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    1
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    Location:
    Maine, US
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    As long as I can remember I have had a gender identity crisis.
    To be honest I feel like a yoyo, I'm very happy when I am able to let my feminity come out, but when I have to be masculinity I hate it. I have been researching MTF HRT.
    Joining EC is the first step.
     
    #1 Lea1961, Oct 17, 2021
    LaurenSkye likes this.
  2. BonaDrag

    BonaDrag
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey Lea! Glad you are here- I think you've taken a good step coming to EC. I am a trans man, and have been on hrt for some time now. Gender is confusing, especially so when you grow up thinking it shouldn't be. How has the research been going for you? :slight_smile:
     
    #2 BonaDrag, Oct 17, 2021
  3. LaurenSkye

    LaurenSkye
    Full Member

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    Location:
    Cincinnati, OH
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I feel you. I'm a trans girl myself and I hate it when while I'm dressing feminine I get misgendered. I also hate when I have to use my legal name while appearing feminine. I'm not on any HRT and don't have any real plans to do so, but that's just me. You've come to the right place here.
    :hearts:
     
    #3 LaurenSkye, Oct 18, 2021
  4. chicodeoro

    chicodeoro
    Full Member

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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    That's dysphoria. I can definitely relate. At the moment I'm having to stay in the closet for my stepson and for work. There are some times where I'll be presenting as male and being called by my old male name all day long. By the end of the day I feel awful and just wrong.

    In the long run I know I'll eventually get on hormones and be able to be me 24/7 but for the moment I just have to endure it.
     
    #4 chicodeoro, Oct 19, 2021
  5. Rayland

    Rayland
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Estonia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's a bit late, but welcome to EC.

    And I truly get what you mean. I got a haircut today and I absolutely love it, even though it's not as short as I wish, but still feels like I can show my true self off a bit.

    Just for testing purposes I tried to tell myself in my mind, that I am a woman and the words didn't even come out (it was a bad idea) and if I need to fill out forms and it asks your gender there, then I get a strong desire to put down male. I wonder, if others have these experiences.

    Even hearing people call me by my female name causes discomfort. I also want to start FtM HRT, but I'm currently in closet, but I will take baby steps and hopefully I can become myself. I make step by step plans to get closer for that wish to come true and I feel like a little bit more and then I'm ready to fully come out and the plans I made all involve coming out and becoming fully independent.

    Right now I'm mostly surrounded by females as well and I have to present myself as female, but that causes lots of discomfort too.
     
    #5 Rayland, Oct 19, 2021
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