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Would you consider getting married?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by BreezyB, Sep 14, 2021.

  1. Sp3ct3re

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    I definitely have no experience with marriage but I will say my opinion on it, if you love someone you do not need to marry them, that is up to you, you can spend your life happy with someone without marrying them, but in the end it is up to you, dont feel pressured into doing it if you dont want to, this also applies to buying rings for marriage, ect...
    Do what you think will make you happy, as for age?
    well I think that, that is more of a wild card, it can go anywhere
     
  2. quebec

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    BreezyB.....Lots of opinions here! I'd like to make an observation. I have seen many marriages breakup after 5-10 years when one or both partners (usually the guy) realize that they never had the chance to just run around and do what ever they wanted to do in the evenings or on the weekends. I think that "kids" in their late teens and twenties need to have that time to just go out with their friends and have fun with no strings attached. Marriage attaches those "strings" of responsibility and ties both parties down. Of course that doesn't mean that no young marriages will work, but the percentage that fail is higher when the partners are younger. When the partners in the marriage are a little older, perhaps have steady job and have had the chance to go out on the weekends and party with their friends, they tend to be more prepared to settled down and be ready for a committed relationship that may even include a child.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  3. PatrickUK

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    If you meet someone of the same sex (or opposite sex actually) who you love very much and you feel a deep and enduring connection to that person, I would recommend formalising your relationship in law. It doesn't have to be marriage, if your country also allows legal/civil partnerships, but you really should consider it if you start to buy property together and tie your finances.

    Once you marry (or enter a legal partnership) nobody can deny you next of kin or inheritance rights and that's also very important. Prior to the introduction of civil partnerships in the UK, I had heard of people being denied visiting rights to their seriously ill partners in hospital. This happened quite often in the 1980's during the AIDS crisis as parents sought to blame partners for infecting their children. It caused great emotional suffering within the LGBT community. Sadly, this sort of thing can still happen if the two people in a relationship are not legally partnered and there has been tension with parents or siblings.
     
  4. Lemony

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    That makes a lot of sense.
     
  5. Lemony

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    I was just thinking this.
    Like if your fiancé is in hospital etc you can’t make any decisions as you’re not legally next of kin and especially if their parents are homophobic etc.
     
  6. LilLady9

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    If I find the right person, I suppose I would consider getting married. I think some time in my late twenties to early thirties would be a good timing... I'm currently in my mid-twenties. I won't lie, I am a bit skeptical of marriage though. It seems like everyone I know was all lovey dovey in their relationship until they got married and then something changed for the worse, not exactly sure why.
     
  7. LaurenSkye

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    Maybe, but not very likely.
     
  8. Tightrope

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    No. I'm not the marrying type. Never have been.
     
  9. TGR682

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    No, but I consider going with a wedding ring if I ever change my gender so the chances of someone flirting with me will be greatly reduced...
     
  10. TommyC00

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    Personally, I'd say mid 20s-early 30s is the perfect time to get married. I don't expect to be wed anytime soon, I'm very happy being single and finding out more about myself. When I'm ready I'll get into a relationship and hopefully get married
     
  11. Papaya

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    For me, it is too early to tell.
    I have never had a relationship.
     
  12. clockworkfox

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    Marriage definitely does come with benefits - it's a lot more than just documentation that makes it harder to break up!

    Personally, I don't see it happening for me. It seems unlikely, but who really knows - maybe I'll find someone I feel good about signing contractual agreements with someday.
     
  13. TinyWerewolf

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    My girlfriend and I are in this age range. We've been together for five months today so obviously we're not getting married anytime soon. There's a lot of stuff to consider about our relationship before we even think about getting married- like how we would adjust to living together/being in each other's space all the time, where do we want to live, are we ready to take that step and possibly lose our families and friends, etc. If you ask me that's not something to take lightly and take time to think it over and discuss with your partner. I do think it depends on who the people are, their relationship, and sometimes other factors. There is no perfect age, just things to be discussed and considered together. It doesn't matter how old/young you are as long as you both agree you're ready for that step.
     
  14. CatSpinner

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    I think 18-20 is too young. I knew quite a few people who got married in their early twenties who ended up divorcing after a couple of years.

    In my opinion, there's no difference between getting married and living together except having to update health insurance and the like when you change your last name and marriage status, which would be a hassle.

    Of course, these are just my opinions and all that matters is what you think, not me. :slight_smile:
     
  15. Michael

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    And the suffering is still going on, in spite of civil unions and marriage being fully legal, I've heard of cases in the US where the partner was denied to see their sick spouse at hospital, being told 'Only immediate family' and such, which is not just plain cruel, from a moral perspective, but illegal. But how to prove you weren't 'interrupting a medical procedure' (by being 'obnoxious') or 'distracting personnel' or whatever they attempt to shield themselves behind, to cover their own... Cruelty?

    I agree you should make it formal, as a civil union, as soon as the feeling is mutual. I don't mind people marrying young, as long as there are no children involved. Same as nothing against people going through many marriages. Some long term relationships dynamic work like nothing but unofficial marriages, so why not making it official like PatrickUK suggests?

    I wonder if it's a cultural thing, if Americans might be more practical (and sensible) about marriage than europeans.

    So far, on childless, plain marriage. However if we mix the kids here, then the question turns into 'Is it ok for parents to have children when young?' To me the age of 18-20 is not adequate at all. I'd say wait until you are (at least) 30, financially and emotionally stable, before having (or adopting) children. And after a few years of marriage, if possible.
     
  16. zgaynz

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    I'd consider it but I don't believe there is any perfect age to do so. It's about commitment and I don't think anyone should be in a hurry to do so. Get it right first time. For me, I believe I would only marry another man and it would take some time before I'd entertain that idea.
     
  17. pallf

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    I would love to be married and have a family, but first I need to get my career going and have financial independence. I don't need to be wealthy, but if I can afford a place of my own and have money at the end of the month after all bills have been paid and necessities have been bought, then I know that I'm in a good place.
     
  18. DragonChaser

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    Just to be clear... is this thread proposing to me?
    Oh god, this is so sudden! Um... I don't know what to say... we've only just met but... oh, it's so romantic! :heart:

    I want to say "yes" just because! But, no... no, I can't... it's just not a good time and I'm working on myself and I'm busy with two jobs... really, though, that's very sweet of you, honey. Oh, gosh... Um. Thanks?



    Call me, though!
     
  19. DinoTail

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    I want to be married in my 20's but definitely not now, there were people in my grade (10th) WHO WERE ENGAGED- but yknow..that didnt work out lollllllllllll. Plus like..why would I wanna through my teenage years away? Marriage is a huge commitment.
     
  20. bsg75apollo

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    I got married for the first time at the age of 21 almost 22. She was the same age. I don't think that we were lacking for maturity or responsiblity. We were however, lacking in a good understanding of ourselves. We really hadn't taken the time to get to know ourselves and what we truly wanted. We mistook a really good friendship for more than it was.