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I need help urgently

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Irshnoblade, Sep 20, 2021.

  1. Irshnoblade

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Argentina
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Im a nonbinary transmasc person, and i need help. I've been feeling so dysphoric lately that i want to commit suicide. The reasons are; i can't masturbate and i have female genitalia. I've tried everything, from ice to brushes. I don't feel anything when i touch myself, and i'm on medication, plus even if i wasn't i still wouldnt be able to jerk off. My dysphoria and hypersexuality is so severe, that it causes an immense distress. I have trauma, so maybe that's why i can't masturbate, but I /need/ to masturbate. I cry almost every might because i can't, and my boyfriend lives far away from where i am, plus, he isn't polyamorous so i couldn't even get a boyfriend here so he can help me. I dont know what to do. I've touched myself in multiple places, but I just don't feel anything. I've tried touching my nipples, i feel nothing. I have fucking tried everything. I have no professional to talk to right now and i'm feeling desperate. And i don't really enjoy penetration because of my trauma and because im a top. I havent found ANYTHING in the internet related to my case. im suffering. Please help
     
  2. QuietPeace

    Full Member

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    Welcome to EC.

    Please do not kill yourself over this. I know very little about where you are from but is there some sort of suicide hotline there? Usually hotlines can then refer you to a place where you can get emotional help.
    There is also this thread with some resources https://forum.emptyclosets.com/index.php?threads/resources-on-gender-identity.313233/

    As far as not being able to feel anything I have been there. It is possibly a result of the trauma that you speak of, trauma does horrible things to us. Unfortunately the only real way to address trauma is to get into therapy and sometimes with medication specific to that. You mention being on medication, some medications do affect this. Can you get a medication change to see if that helps?

    The "hypersexuality" could be a number of things also. It is possible that you are simply sexual but with no outlet it causes frustration and that you are not really hypersexual at all. I have a condition PGAD/GD which until it is address feels to be hypersexuality but it is actually a problem with confused nerve signals. After addressing its source in my life (Interstitial Cystitis for me though PGAD/GD has several possible causes) I no longer have the issue of constant arousal. Sadly, the only real way to find out what this issue is would be to seek out doctors specifically for it and trying to find a doctor that works on sexuality issues without judgement is very difficult at best.

    As far as only being in a long distance relationship with someone who is not poly, maybe it is time to reconsider if that relationship is what is best for you?
     
  3. Jakebusman

    Regular Member

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    Im non binary too if you ever wanna chat