I joined this group to find a welcoming community. As a bi/gay man, I have known about my sexuality ever since I had a crush on Zach from Saved by the Bell (maybe this dates me some) and asked my mother if it was okay to have a crush on a man, and she just looked at me and said it was fine and normal. I am open to all, but I currently live in a very homophobic environment, so it is difficult to find a supportive community, hence joining here. I think my biggest challenge currently is finding such a community that is accepting and positive toward the LGBT+ community. So making friends is important to me. I am an academic and recently began a project looking at gay/bi men and coming out stories, so I am really hoping to meet some academic-type people here in addition to being open to friends from all walks of life. Another problem I am struggling with is that I am pretty feminine (cross-dressing when I can, makeup, and just I guess acting fem, from what I hear from others) but I find in my environment this is not really accepted; more important is masculinity, toughness, and being assertive, which is not me at all and the attitude of what is 'natural' or 'normal' for me really makes me hide that part of myself. Anyway, this is too long, so a big hello to everyone. And very glad to be in the community.
Firstly welcome to EC! you will certainly find a very accepting and open community here and hopefully make some amazing friends along the way. It sound very difficult living in a homophobic environment. As for you being more feminine what does it matter just like sexual orientation is a spectrum so is masculinity you can and should be able to act and do whatever makes you happy and if others do not like it, it’s there problem not yours!! if you need any help with your project ask away
Hello Finch, welcome to EC! The community here is very accepting and supportive from what I've seen so far. I'm not in academia, but my husband is so I'm somewhat versed in that world because of him. I'm 34, gay, and I too like to express my femininity. I don't cross-dress much outwardly, I really only wear shawls when it is cold, nightshirts/nightgowns around the house sometimes, and I do wear women's watches, men's watches look clunky on me. I have been doing certain forms of cross-dressing since I was 10, so as conflicted as I feel about it sometimes it looks like it is a part of me. I also paint my nails sometimes and do have certain mannerisms that could be perceived as more feminine. I do know what you mean about how people react to feminine expression by a man. I sometimes wish to be more expressive, but often feel too self-conscious to do so. Even some of the gay community around me looks down on feminine men. Still, I think people as a whole are getting better at seeing that masculinity is more than just a bunch of stereotypes.
Finch Reese.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! There are a number of sub-forums here on EC...why don't you check them out and then feel free to join in the conversations! Ah Yes...Zach from "Saved By The Bell", also one of my crushes! There are all kinds of people here on EC. I'm sure you'll meet some friends and some of them will be academic-types! This is a community of loving, caring and very supportive people and we will do our best to help you blend into the community. You can ask questions in any of the Sub-forums by creating a new thread or by joining in a conversation-thread that is already going. You can also post a message on anyone's Profile Page after you have made at least ten posts yourself. If you have a question that is somewhat private you can always send a Private Message to any Staff Member. Normally Private Messages can only be exchanged between two Full Members, but a PM to a Staff Member is an exception. We are so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets! .....David
