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Hiya

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by AvatarRoku, Aug 29, 2021.

  1. AvatarRoku

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    firstly. Sorry for the delay in replying been a busy couple of days.

    second. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. Genuinely got a bit emotional reading it. It must of been so hard form what you described with your family/Mum. I don’t know how you would have coped. Mine arnt as bad as that they just have let’s say have random views of the world and they think the world is going to change and let’s say gay people won’t be to welcome after these changes (yes I know they need help ) but even with that I know it still comes from a place of concern even if I don’t like it.

    I am so glad you found your amazing guy! It sounds like after all you went through you really deserved to find happiness. And for the record you should never be down on yourself your an amazing person and have certainly made me feel better and it’s very much appreciated.
     
  2. tidalpool127

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    Hey there pal, thank you for the kind words. You don't gotta apologize, I recognize we all use this forum when we can. Yes, it was hard back then. But the reason I told the story is even though I might still carry some sour feelings from that time; my momma did sit in the front row at my wedding to another man. What I mean is, and I know this phrase is used a lot, it really does get better. Sometimes it just takes time.

    As for your family it sounds like they actually do accept you they just worry about the world being cruel to you. My parents had similar concerns, combined with the fact I have Aspergers/ASD they thought the world would be too tough on me if I was gay too. I won't lie have a few people in my adult life been a jerk to me once they found out I was gay. But those people are few and far between. I've found and I think you'll find that dealing with the occasional jerk is totally worth living your truth.
     
  3. AvatarRoku

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    That must have been such an amazing moment having your mum there after it starting out a little tricky between you both. Sound like she was on a journey of her own too.

    yeah the do definitely care just not nice to hear sometimes but I can tell they are trying which is I guess all you can really ask.

    Not had any one be a jerk yet but I look forward to it. To be fair my way of approaching that will be you get jerks in life anyway what there being a ass about doesn't make much difference.

    how long have you been married to your mr right?
     
  4. Lemony

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    Welcome to EC AvatarRoku. You’ll make some great friends here. It can take awhile to adjust to exactly how EC runs but eventually it will feel so easy.
     
  5. AvatarRoku

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    really enjoying being on here and starting to get used to controls. Famous last words I know
     
  6. tidalpool127

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    Almost 6 years now.
     
  7. BiGemini87

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    Welcome to EC! I hope you find a lot of engaging conversation here. :slight_smile:

    For my part, I'm bisexual, been out 2 1/2 years (I'm 34), and have gotten pretty comfortable in my sexuality/orientation. How about you, @AvatarRoku? What's your story?
     
    #27 BiGemini87, Sep 3, 2021
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2021
  8. AvatarRoku

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    Ahh that is so sweet to hear. How did you guys meet? Sorry to be nosey just it’s nice to hear a positive story
     
  9. AvatarRoku

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    Hiya Bigemini87

    I certainly have started to have a few wonderful conversations with people.

    congrats on coming out don’t think it’s ever easy from what you hear on here. so well done as well on being comfortable with who you are!

    myself literally was two weeks ago I told 2 of my family. They were ok and a couple of friends who were brilliant.

    tbh I’m still really working on accepting who I am as I’ve kinda been keeping it a secret for a long time even to myself I think.

    we were discussing the other day in hindsight when we each first got the idea that we might be gay or bi or anything else. Mine was around 7-8. When did you first start to think you might be Bi if you don’t mind me asking?
     
  10. BiGemini87

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    It's so good to hear you've gotten such a positive reception. That, I think, makes all the difference in situations like this. :slight_smile:

    I'd say there were indicators as early as 6/7 years of age, but that the first time it occurred to me was in my mid-teens. Not unlike you, I hid it from myself; any time I started to have the realization I wasn't straight, I'd kind of just shut down. I questioned on and off throughout my 20s, so it was a long process getting here. :sweat_smile:
     
  11. tidalpool127

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    It's okay, we actually met online 10 years ago now. I had come out to my family the year before and had actually stopped coming out after that initial reaction. I figured it would be best if I wasn't open about my sexuality and at the time I didn't have any close lgbt friends, so our whole world was very new to me. So since I didn't feel like I could be open I took to using certain websites to arrange secret hookups with other guys.

    While that was fun in some respects, I really wanted a deeper connection. That and my self-esteem was at a historic low point, so I let myself get into some really bad, unsafe situations. However, my husband was different. He wanted to actually talk to me and get to know one another. Just like me he wanted to date, not just hookup. I agreed and after a few dates I knew I had met the kindest, most caring man I had ever met in my life. Falling in love with him gave me the courage to be open and out to the world.
     
  12. AvatarRoku

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    I think is really upsetting in a way that we feel we had to shut it down. I mean why is it so we feel normal? I personally think I shut it down so my I didn’t stress out my family as they were going through a difficult time. But I also wonder if that’s my excuse and I was just too afraid to be myself.

    I kept questioning it too but I don’t know if your the same but everytime I did I kinda had to keep pushing it even further away.

    but like you say it may take a while but we will get there in the end! ☺️
     
  13. AvatarRoku

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  14. BiGemini87

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    I 100% agree. I wish I hadn't felt that way, that I could have honestly explored and gained the experiences I needed when most I needed them. I don't regret where I am now in life--my husband means the world to me--but I regret all the things I missed out on prior to meeting him.

    Yeah, I kept pushing it away too, convincing myself it wasn't true, I couldn't like girls because I liked guys (and when I'd remember that bisexuality was a thing because of a friend of mine, I'd really shut down; convinced myself that it didn't define me or my experiences).

    I know it can be difficult, but take solace in knowing you got there in the end. :slight_smile:
     
    #34 BiGemini87, Sep 5, 2021
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2021