My mood is so much better now. I feel more balanced overall. I know its still going to take a good while to get exactly where I need to be to have some semblance of a lifestyle. I am just curious to know if there is a pot of gold over the rainbow? What I mean is, "I do not want to move to find love..." Why can I not find it where I am at?? I guess more and more I am in need to finding love within myself. I am in a remote town 100 miles from any major city, so slim chance unless I find someone in my town or If I meet someone and they move here.....
rtoddhix.....Is there a reason you can't take trips to bigger towns and perhaps meet someone? Or could you eventually move to a larger town? .....David
The internet is a weird, awful, scary and amazing thing. I know guys who met on an app for a quickie and ended up married. My daughter went on some lightweight get-together app and was matched up with a guy she had a crush on when she was 12 whose family lives 20 minutes away from her, and they are now engaged and deliriously happy. I met my guy online and by sheer luck of the draw he lived 45 minutes away on the other side of a metro area, and I ended up moving in with him, and we are now planning on moving back to my home town, 7 years later. No, things don't always just fall into place. But all it takes is once. I can tell you that when I first came out to my wife, I was not looking for a hookup or a relationship and certainly did not plan to spend 7 years in another city. But as my cousin always says, we make plans and God laughs. The internet can be a really useful tool, not necessarily to find Mr. Right, but to find someone who might know him. Isolation will kill you and keep you lonely. I don't have to tell anyone who spent years in the closet of that fact. What you need are connections. People to talk to, people who have experiences that might help guide you. EC is a good resource but being an anonymous support forum, it can only go so far, and then you have to see what you can do that's a little closer to the real world. Again, the idea is not to go on the hunt for the man of your dreams, but rather to grow a network of people around yourself who can help you figure out how to move forward. If you are comfortable, don't discount the possibility of letting someone or other in your town that you trust know you're gay and trying to figure out what to do next. One of the valuable lessons of the last 7-8 years has been that there are a lot more supportive people than you think, and they all know someone gay--that's usually WHY they are supportive. Yeah, there are assholes too, but they're generally easy to spot, and sometimes the ones you would expect to reject you will surprise the hell out of you and be the greatest allies. Outside of the obvious change of having a male partner instead of a wife of 20 years, much of my life is the same as it always was. The only major difference is not having to "catch" myself before I do or say something that might give away the secret. It's not like I spend my day quoting Steel Magnolias out checking out cute guys' butts - but at least now I allow myself to when the spirit moves me! You would be surprised at how much that opens up your psyche and comfort level. Don't give God a reason to laugh by over-planning. Just relax and enjoy the freedom of being yourself.
This website has been awesome for me, although once you done reading you then need to get out in the real world. choirboy explained some good points.
not being able to find love in your area is not unusual but is it a quiet place where your at? are you searching for anyone around in your area? Yes, when or before you find love in a relationship learn to love the most important one in the moment, ( you ) and take care of yourself before loving someone else your important, because you can't fully love someone if you don't love yourself!
If what you mean is a traditional, exclusive relationship based on love and building something together, then I think that's something of a rarity among gay men regardless of where you live.
