I just don't like condoms

I didn’t challenge your statements on the possible side effects (which aren’t very likely based on data but still possible), just the tone. It’s dismissive... almost judgmental of those who chose to use it like I do. Like only people who have unprotected sex are on it, only they can see the benefits in using it. It takes just one time of someone stealthing you, being terrified for weeks wondering if your next test will be positive to see the benefits in taking prep. I have an alarm set,10:30 PM, and have a pill in my wallet, my bag, and the bottle by my bed... I always have one with me to make sure I take it on time no matter where I am. Each time my alarm goes off I feel a sense of relief knowing I’m doing everything I can to take control of my sexuality, my status, my health. I know it’s not right for everyone... but it’s right for me right now. I’ll monitor my kidneys, bone density, and liver for any possible issues... and I’ll sleep easy knowing I’m doing what I can

As for being promiscuous... I mean life is short lol some of us are just meant to be the Blanche in our friend group hahaha... I do agree don’t use sex as a way to fill some emotional issues... I did that one time and knew I had to not let that happen again. Added three to my number that one day... now when ever I’m down or dealing with something no G lol... focus on the issue to get back out there for some fun!

 

Honestly, for me, the idea of that seems like something I’d wanna do with someone I care about. But honestly... the best sex of my life involved a condom... all the things I like best you can totally experience playing safe! As long as they are wearing the right one...

 

If you have a condom break, or suspect someone has taken off the condom, and you are not on PrEP, then get PEP immediately (what Chip spelled out “post-exposure prophylaxis”). Or have it on hand now (called PEP-in-Pocket) so you can start within hours of any such potential exposure. It is a 28-day course, usually a combo such as Truvada and Tivicay. Yes, it is toxic, but so is life-long HIV medication (and you only take it for the 28 days). Most doctors are advised to start you on PrEP if you’ve needed PEP a couple times.

 

I’m hoping more people go get the HPV vaccines that protect against the two HPV strains that cause most genital warts. It takes two shots if you are under age 15, and three if you are over. In the US it is recommended for everyone up to age 26, and can be recommended for high risk folks up to 45 years old (such as MSM). And even I got Gardasil-9 a couple years ago at my old age (had to pay for it myself, my insurance doesn’t cover above age 45).

 

I was so embarrassed both times I didn’t go in to get checked for a couple weeks... the last time (end of last year) was with my regular and I was so upset. I told a friend right after it happened but that’s it. Pep sounds like a great choice for sure.

Why hasn’t anyone told me this??? I even mentioned to my doc I was disappointed I hadn’t had it...

 

I don’t know if this is relevant or not. But one time a gay friend of mine once told me how he rejected this guy multiple times during a hook up. Because he refused to wear a condom, even though he found him to be a stud and they were in the middle of things. He just out refused and canceled the whole thing saying it was a deal breaker.

I think men and women both should take all the precautions necessary to be safe and protected.

 

I'd say it's very relevant and good on your friend for having the inner resolve to do that. I'm afraid a lot of people would get caught up in the moment and then live with the regret and anxiety for days and weeks afterwards. The fact that he asked the guy multiple times and was still met with refusal tells me your friend did exactly the right thing.

Men who refuse to slip a condom on their cock are just as bad as the selfish twats who refuse to stick a mask on their face at the height of an infectious pandemic.

 

Its always felt special to be filled by my partner...but, I do wish I liked condoms more. I was about your age and very naïve when a much older man taught me barebacking and I remember what a nice secret it was for me to carry his sperm.

 

Let's get real, the idea that you are being "filled up" is utterly absurd. Even taken literally, it's absurd. Most of a guys ejaculate will be collected in the end of a condom and that's exactly where it should be if you place any value on your health and well-being.

Too many bullshit ideas about sex come from watching risky porn. Nobody is being "filled up" or "bred" when they bareback and we should dispense with any such ideas. It's the language of a farmer who wants to inseminate his herd of cows or flock of sheep. Is that how base and stupid we want to be in our ideas about human sexuality?

 

So I’m not anti-bareback like many others here. I think one day I may decide to share that with a partner who I plan to spend my life with… like being able to be completely naked with each other and the connection that would give… but for now I use condoms… I also use prep lol. But the idea that you get a ton more out bb than with a condom is ridiculous. You can feel the pulse with a condom on that fits right and at the end of the day that’s what your feeling with bb. I too experienced bb, super young age but honestly the best sex of my life has been with condoms. I think we gotta remember that there are people here who aren’t experienced, aren’t super knowledgeable on these topics, are kinda young who read phrases like… it’s special carrying his load! That’s bs… you may find it sexy… if so swallow is all I’m saying… but don’t make it seem like something that it’s not! It’s not romantic to do with hookups or strangers, it’s not safe, and having to live a lifetime with the consequences of a choice that’s made for a few minutes of fun isn’t really worth it for me… Wrap it up guys!

Side note: I think less judgmental approach is always best. We each make our own decision and sometimes comments regarding multiple partners or even this topic seem like slut shaming. We each make choices that’s right for us in that moment. Sometimes they are stupid and we look back thinking wtf. But preaching to someone is never the way to help.

 

Sorry guys but I have to agree with @Chip and @PatrickUK on this one again. Health and safety in these things should come first regardless of age or situation. It’s not worth it. Risking your health and god forbid regret it for the rest of your life for a few minutes of fun. And those ideas, terms and language that are perpetuated by some porn are the worst culprits in my opinion.

 

We don't know and that's the crux of the issue. We just don't know.

But really, it's not about "screwing around". An otherwise faithful and respectful partner can make a one-time mistake, in a moment of weakness and find themselves infected with an STI. It really does happen (too often). What we think of as calculated risks are really nothing of the sort.

Stating these facts (and they are facts) is not judgemental or preachy. Of course, people are at liberty to do as they wish, but sometimes we have to face our responsibilities as a community and make it clear when something is risky and potentially harmful to others. We also need to call out stupid ideas that promote risky behaviours.