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Are this all psychological feelings?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Sadness, Jul 14, 2021.

  1. Sadness

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    I Wonder if the feelings i have, mostly when thinking about woman, are psychological. Because i didnt have this feelings before. I just thought about woman, i would only get very aroused, but nowadays i have a weird and bad feeling in my stomach, like i dont actually like what im thinking, but i am aroused, and its so confusing. I already said i have a lot of fear of having relationships now, but i do want to gown down on a woman eventually, but thinkong about this, at the same time arouses me, i cant actually picture myself doing it, and starts to get hard to think about it. Im afraid mostly that i wont like kissing or going down on a woman, i dont know why its so hard to picture those things in my mind.

    I dont know if this is psuchological or if is something about ocd too, but i would like so much to imagine myself kissing girls and going down on them and feel only pleasure. I hope this gets posted bc i really want a solution to this.

    I do know that im afraid i wont like doing it when the time comes.
     
  2. Chip

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    All of that is tied into the OCD. It also fits into the trauma narrative I described on the other thread.
     
  3. Sadness

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    Yes i read about it and it makes sense, i dont know why this cause such a trauma in me since i didnt even get angry about that bc i knew i wasnt gay. And i do understand this psychological feelings, they are so annoying, i didnt feel them before, its somenthing kind recent, whats weird about this is the fact the i get these feelings while im getting hard, which doesnt make much sense. I get aroused but then at some point i have this weird feeling in my stomach and all that.
     
  4. Sadness

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    I didnt want to come here to ask this, but its been in my mind for some time now. In porn when im watching the climax scene, when the guy moans and then finishs it gives me a boost to finish too. And ive been having this in my mind all day bc i get confused if getting aroused by this is normal or am i aroused bc of the guy. So for the ones who watch porn here, is this something natural?
     
  5. Chip

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    As with every other situation you've posed, this is your OCD. You can save yourself some time in the future by asking yourself "Has anyone ever responded that my thoughts are anything other than OCD?" I realize your hijacked brain can't see it, but you can begin to train it in that direction.
     
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  6. Sadness

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    Yeah i know thats why i didnt want to come here asking this. So is pretty much natural right? Thats just how porn works, the real problem is the mental battle after my masturbation "why i did get aroused and ejaculated when the guy moaned and ejaculated, maybe im really gay"

    Even if i see only men moaning it doesnt do it for me, i already tested lol.

    I will try to think a lot before posting and will check all my posts before writting something since this helps not only me but you guys too.
     
  7. masterofnone

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    you really gotta stop watching porn and testing yourself it’s making you more confused. also are you doing ERP?
     
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  8. Sadness

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    Yeah i sure do, and im really trying. I already cut my use in half so i consider this as a little win. But its very hard bc of my fears everyday, like that k wont like going down on a woman, i do feel so scared that i wont like it, or will feel disgusted that i have to watch porn. Dont know if it makes sense lol, everything is a mess now lol
     
  9. Chip

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    Look at the statement above. Especially the "I have to watch porn."

    You don't have to do much of anything. No one is putting a gun to your head, saying "watch porn, or I pull the trigger."

    The first step in changing the behavior is realizing you have a choice. Maybe you don't exercise it today. But maybe you wait 5 minutes before giving in . And in three days, 10. And next week, 15. And so on. You begin to retrain your brain and take back your power to choose. If, of course, you choose to do so.
     
  10. George Donis

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    The psychological state of arousal felt by the evidence of sexual activity whether the stimulation is auditory or visual is perfectly normal. Nothing whatsoever to concern yourself over. it would be more of a psychological issue if you felt aroused by the sound of a boiling kettle or a washing machine. The sound of either party enjoying sex is supposed to engender this level of arousal in men and women. Means nothing other than you are indeed human.
     
  11. Sadness

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    Yes im in fact trying to wait until i cant resist no more to go, and ive been trying to change porn videos to manga hentai.

    I did one test in what 6 days which is nice, but i noticed that different feom real gay porn videos, that dont make me aroused, gay hentai manga actually makes me hard sometimes, mostly bc of the dialogues, not even the images. Is this normal? I know its not gay to get hard by gay porn i got this now, but can dialogues be that much arousing? If i look at the drawings it wont be too different feom real porn videos, but when i read the dialogues i get hard sometimes.

    And just to add that whenever i try to do it without porn and hentai i fantasize mostly with transwoman, is the only thing that i can finish only by thinking of it. Do i have some fixation in penis though? I dont get aroused by them just looking at them or seeing naked man or fantasizing about one. But something about the match of a woman and a penis is very arousing. Ive already seem ppl saying that the penis is actually a cue for arousal, maybe its for me too? If i google just a pic, or a naked man, or fsntasize with men, look st sex scenes only with dicks and all it doesnt arouse me, but i see a erect penis and a woman just looking at it is so arousing for me. Ive been wondering why this happens, dont know if its kind normal and im just thinking too much though.
     
  12. Sadness

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    Yes i noticed that too, i was so worried about stereotypes "a man shouldnt get aroused by other men feeling pleasure, bc its a men". But with the help of you guys i understood that is normal.
     
    #12 Sadness, Jul 27, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2021
  13. Chip

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    You're just switching out one stimulus for another. That's not going to be effective. I realize that it's your OCD, but the goal here is to stop testing, not to switch the media you're using to test.

    We can't determine anything because your OCD is not under control. What I can say with a pretty high degree of confidence is that this is your OCD at work.
     
    #13 Chip, Jul 27, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2021
  14. Sadness

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    Yeah i should stop instead of switching, i thought it could work a little since its not videos. I notice a really decrease when the anxiety doesnt spike in my use of porn, sadly days like today where my anxiety spikes i watch a lot more of pornoghraphy.

    When you say about determining youre talking about this weird thing of dialogues being arousing? I went through a lot bc of porn, but this is very weird, why would a text arouses me lol.

    Maybe its bc of my addiction to porn, bc gay porn dont do much for me, even hentai, when i feel aroused its mostly bc what i read, not the images. Maybe even the arousal to gay porn can be bc of my use of porn, i saw a lot of staright folks that were addixted to porn that ended up enjoying gay porn. Again, not that it really matters when talking about my sexuality, as hard as it is for me to understand i know porn is porn.

    Maybe all that is due to my addiction, even this "fixation" to penis, i use quotations bc i dont think is a fixation since i dont get hard just looking at one, or naked men or whatever, is just that now my porn is mostly focused on women pleasuring a penis, thats why, and transwoman too.
     
  15. Chip

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    It's your OCD.
     
  16. Ambigously

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    I have the same ocd traits and obsessions as you and I can tell you that after continually thinking, questioning, testing, I too feel a bit 'sick' about anything sexual. When I masterbate I basically feel ill. Its just anxiety and over testing. How would it feel good once you've attached so much anxiety to the feeling? You are basically training yourself to be more anxious.

    Only way to get out of it is to break the cycle.

    100% get off the porn and stop watching it. It's only making things worse.

    Try to enter 'the real world' and follow your desires there.

    Easier said than done but this is reality, not the mess in your head
     
    #16 Ambigously, Jul 29, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2021
  17. Sadness

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    Yes thats the word ive been trying to find, i feel ill sometimes when thinking about kissing woman for example. I stopped doing this bc it always lead me to test eith man again. I feel this ill feeling, think im gah, test kissing men, feel a disgust feeling very different from woman, than im like oh okay so nothing changed.

    Yeah im really trying to stop watching porn, i think ill addres this with my psychiatrist next time i see him, see if he can help me.

    Thank you for your message though, hope you get well soon too