I don't want to derail another thread, so I copy and paste the quote here. How does it look like in the case of depression? What kind of coping strategy can be depression, especially with suiscidal thoughts? Isn't it more like a burnout? What kind of pathway instead of adrenaline is overdeveloped in depression?
Gabor Maté put this much better than I ever could. He said, "When we push down our feelings, because they are too painful... we depress them. We depress our feelings long enough, and that's what creates depression.
@Chip — Can you suggest any more links, or books and other information about this topic? I have written here on EC about my friend, B, and my feelings for him. I had the opportunity yesterday to spend the day with him. After attempts on my part to have him join me at my vacation home, he finally agreed. My vacation home is located near where he grew up, and from what I already know about him, he went through a lot as a child. I don’t really want to discuss that in detail here out of respect for his privacy, but suffice it to say he has had more than his share of trauma in his childhood. I did too, but in different ways, different circumstances. Our own separate journeys, each unique but creating a bond between us. He alluded to his feelings this morning in a text to me about yesterday, and how it was for him to be “back home” just anonymously with me, and not meeting with family, or childhood friends and neighbors. I could sense yesterday that something was going on inside him, but I couldn’t put my finger on it and I didn’t want to pry, I wanted to give him his space, so to speak. So, if you have any resources that you might suggest on this topic, I would appreciate it. Thank you. P.S. — Just to clarify, despite my continued strong feelings of attraction, affection, and love for my friend, I maintain and respect the limits he has set. Yesterday, for example, I ran some errands I needed to do in town (the town where he was born and raised), and then we drove out to my place, where we went hiking, had lunch, and generally later in the day just sat around my house talking.
Well, for starters, the video course that preview is taken from is one of the most profound learning experiences I've ever had. I highly recommend it. Gabor does not have a book specifically on trauma, but all of his books cover trauma. "In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts", "The Body Says No" and "Hold On to Your Kids" are all excellent. That would be where I'd start.
