I told my ex Boyfirend that I think I am bisexual .. He was ok until I mentioned online forums?

Hi All,

I wanted to share this with you, I had a significant relationship from 2008 - 2015 with a guy 20 years older, truth is I never fancied him but I did have an emotional connection. It was the emotional ties which made it an on / off relationship for 8 years, the sex was mediocre.

We did not stay in touch or speak from 2015 - 2019 then he sent me a bithday wish and we have chatted occassionally the last 2 years. He had heart surgery earlier this year so I went to stay and help him for a week. The relationship is purely friendship for me I have chatted with him on the phone a lot in recent months.

He lives 4 hours away and we have no mutual friends. I could see his interest in me was maybe in getting re connected as more than just friends, he had become attentive and could see I was struggling with something, so I dont know how or why but I found myself explaining that I am not interseted in a relationship because I am going through this process of discovering my sexuality.

I found mysel telling him the whole story of the last 18 months ( contained in my ealier posts) and concluding that I can't be hetrosexual and am trying to come to terms with being something else that so far doesnt have a fixed label.

It was liberating to say it out loud to someone who knew me very well in the past. And in the safety that he cant tell anyone who knows me.

But I am now regretting it, I have pulled back from speaking to him since. He didn't react negatively to the news exactly, seemed to accept that I have been going through difficult times, and was a bit supportive to the clear impact its having on my mental health. That was until the conversation progressed and I told him I had been getting support on a forum (didn't metion which one). He said I shouldn't rely on forums, had a lot of negative things to say about sharing emotions online, getting stalked, foundout and basically told me to stay off the internet as talking to people in this community will only convince me that I am Bisexual / lesbian because I am looking for answers.

Now I am not about to stop sharing with you all as I think he is being narrow minded, and I genuinely believe that EC is helping me.

Has anyone else had such negativity about being part of a online community ?

 

He hardly uses social media these days, but we did meet online in a forum / chat room for divorces back in 2008 ..so there’s a weird irony in his opinion!!

Having paused to think about it I think he just felt threatened by the news and maybe a bit hurt, so vented on that part rather than actually show emotion/ disappointment towards my rejection of any idea of our relationship being rekindled.

 

Update: He phoned, and we had a good talk. He admits he reacted against the online forums because of his own experience of such places.

So we’ve cleared the air, he know how much support I find in being part of this community and bonus he now realises exactly why I’m not interested in any relationship so the conversation was so much easier as I wasn’t having to be careful not to raise his expectations.