Hi! I joined a few days ago and intended to post here first....then walked away from my computer and promptly forgot to do so and now here we are. I'm a 30-something cis pansexual man who recently moved across the United States to the Pacific Northwest...immediately before the pandemic hit. I'm hoping to find some connection and community here with people who share or are adjacent to the lived experience of being a queer person in this world. I don't know very many people in my area yet and I don't have any sort of queer community in the area, although I know it is thriving up here and I just need to find it. I grew up in an alt-right, fundamentalist Christian, homophobic, abusive family. As soon as I turned 18, I got out of that hateful, bigoted environment but, presumably as a result of growing up in such an unsafe environment, I didn't think I was anything other than completely hetero until a few years ago. I recently found some journals that I kept when I was a teenager, however, and the fact that I am pansexual screams at me from the pages now, even though I wasn't consciously aware of my sexuality at the time. Over the last few years, I've gained a lot of insights about myself through intensive therapy work and one of the things I came to realize about myself is that I am queer. I identify as pansexual to people who I reasonably expect to recognize the word and bisexual otherwise. I am not out to very many people yet and have not navigated that space nearly as much as I likely would have by now had the pandemic not occurred. Professionally, I'm a climate scientist and writer and at times a university lecturer and technical SCUBA instructor. Personally, I prefer to dive for fun and most of the time I would prefer to go camping or play drums or guitar than to go to the lab or the lecture hall. I'll write no matter what, as will likely be evident from the length of some of my forum posts. I'm into ttrpgs, I love working and building things with my hands, I'm an avid reader, and I enjoy just about any sort of nature-oriented outdoor activity. I'm a curious person and am always looking for new interests as well. I'm excited to be here, after reading through the forums, this seems to me to be a healthy, welcoming, accepting community and I am grateful for the chance to be a part of it. I am looking forward to meeting people!
Ulmo.....(Lord of Waters!) Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I am so sorry about your family. I grew up with an abusive step father. I broke free when I left home for college and never spoke to or saw him again. I see that you are a Lord of the Rings fan! Tolkien is one of my favorite authors! One of my sons is pan. He came out to me last December in the middle of a lot of shaking and nervous tears. At that time I had not yet come out to him, so he was quite surprised when I came out to him as gay. We have had some really special times together since then sharing a double bond as father/son and both members of our LGBTQ Family! There are a number of sub-forums here on EC...why don't you check them out and then feel free to join in the conversations! You can ask questions in any of the Sub-forums by creating a new thread or by joining in a conversation-thread that is already going. You can also post a message on anyone's Profile Page after you have made at least ten posts yourself. If you have a question that is somewhat private you can always send a Private Message to any Staff Member. Normally Private Messages can only be exchanged between two Full Members, but a PM to a Staff Member is an exception. We are so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets! .....David
Hi quebec/David and thank you for the warm welcome! I'm really impressed that you got the reference behind my username and I'm glad to find a fellow fan of Tolkien. Do you read a lot of fantasy? I'm so sorry to hear that you had to endure an abusive stepfather; it sounds like you were able to make a fairly clean break with him at least, though that doesn't do anything to undo the damage that has already been done. Your story about you and your son coming out to each other is so heartwarming! What a deep sense of relief and connection your son must have felt in that moment! Thank you for sharing that Thank you as well for the information about the website. I'm enjoying the site and look forward to engaging.
