1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Those of you with kids...

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by MistyMorn, Jun 16, 2021.

  1. MistyMorn

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2019
    Messages:
    114
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    At what age did you come out the your kids?

    I have preteen to young teen kids. This is such an influential time in their lives. You all remember those years!!

    For me it was really hard struggling with my sexuality under huge amounts of oppression just in general much less around being gay from family and environment.

    They are very mature for their age and wonderful kids, but this is really heavy stuff for a child with a maturing mind and I don't want to really screw up their lives having to process this. Yet at the same time not sure if I can wait another 5-10 years....
     
  2. I'm gay

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2016
    Messages:
    1,751
    Likes Received:
    809
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My kids were 16 and 12, both boys, when I came out. That was 5 years ago.

    They were accepting of me, with the older one having a bit of an easier time of it. The younger one was just starting middle school, so that was a bit more difficult of an adjustment for him. It helped that both of my boys know gay kids at their schools, and it just wasn't as big of an issue for them. Separating from my wife and moving out of the family home was harder on them than me being gay.
     
    MistyMorn likes this.
  3. Love2sleep

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2020
    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    113
    Location:
    Uk
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I wish I could help buy I don't have children, I do however work with children as a child protection officer. I would say judge the right time by how much your children will understand what you are conveying. Wishing all the luck from across the pond!
     
    MistyMorn likes this.
  4. MistyMorn

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2019
    Messages:
    114
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thank you! I have raised them to be open minded and accept people for who they are. They are very good at not judging others and even correct me!

    My marriage is a disaster and has been for nearly a decade. We haven't even had an argument in years because we literally do not talk. He has his own space in the house and is rarely home. This said a divorce wouldn't be a surprise to them but at the same time it's still a divorce. Surprisingly enough none of their friends come from divorced families so we would be the first.
    My youngest son is disabled and uses a wheelchair outside the house. He gets around well inside. That complicates things too. I guess I went a bit TMI but it's good to talk about.
    So many factors to consider!
     
    Love2sleep likes this.
  5. Love2sleep

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2020
    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    113
    Location:
    Uk
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Don't worry about TMI it's good to talk! Your kids sound like they have good had a on them and emotionally stable enough to handle the divorce and your sexuality positively. Of course, there may be hiccups along the way, those will iron themselves out. Remember you know your kids and you will tell them when time feels right to do so.
    I totally understand your relationship issues and I'm always around (between trying to keep kids safe!) if you want to unload or just have a general chit chat. ;0)
     
    MistyMorn likes this.
  6. Choirboy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2013
    Messages:
    1,672
    Likes Received:
    427
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My daughters were 16 and 13. I was shocked at how nonplussed they both were at the news. They were quite accepting of my partner as well, although the fact that I actually ended up moving out of the house was very hard for them., and I still wish there had been some better way for that to have happened.
     
    Love2sleep and MistyMorn like this.