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Can you please help me w/ my sexuality?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by IoI, Jun 9, 2021.

  1. IoI

    IoI
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    I've been confused about my sexuality for about 3 years now. I've tried not giving myself a label but that didnt work out, same with being abrosexual (Switching sexualities everyday), and more. I'm questioning between lesbian and demisexual right now. But for now, I'm labeling myself as bisexual.
    If someone reaches out to me, thanks!
     
  2. QuietPeace

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    Welcome to EC.

    It is possible to be only interested in women and be demisexual. I am wondering with he as pronouns if lesbian would be appropriate at all though, lesbians are women who are only interested in women. What sorts of people are you attracted to and under what conditions?

    I use the label demisexual because I am not interested in sex with anyone who I am not already in a close relationship with. (I have also never heard of abrosexual though with the definition that you specify it sounds like just a fancy way of saying "questioning" which is a label that we already have and is a lot more clear)
     
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  3. IoI

    IoI
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    Hi, you dont sound strong or blunt at all! I also heard lesbian means non men liking non men, im pretty sure. And I heard pronouns dont equal gender. I'm attracted to girls mostly, but Im not comfortable having sex with any gender or anyone because thats just not my thing. And thank you for being respectful, I really appreciate it! :slight_smile:
     
  4. QuietPeace

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    I have never heard this and I identified as a lesbian for years and had mostly women who identified as lesbian or bisexual as friends for years also. For a more general term that says a preference for those one the feminine side of the scale I have heard gynephilic used. I do not know of a specific label for attraction to nonmen.

    I found this
    Note that it says for those who identify closer to womanhood and by using "he" it gave me the impression that you identify closer to masculinity while possibly being nonbinary. You can use whatever gender and pronouns that you wish but I am just pointing out how the combination that you are using might be confusing.


    True and neither are sex and gender the same thing. I reiterated that you can use what you wish but that some may be confused.

    This sounds like being on the asexual spectrum to me. If your avoidance of sex has nothing to do with any sort of trauma then maybe explore the different labels for asexual.
     
  5. chicodeoro

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    Do you even need a label? What's wrong with just being attracted to, er..the people you're attracted to, whether they're male or female?
     
    #5 chicodeoro, Jun 9, 2021
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  6. IoI

    IoI
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    Oh okay thank you. Quick question, can you be sexually and romantically attracted to someone and youre asexual?
    Also I'm pretty sure the white in the lesbian flag means non-binary. So I'm sure lesbian means non men liking non men? I might be wrong though. Also Ive seen ''he/they'' lesbians all over social media and they identify as a girl and Ive realized that I felt more comfortable identifying myself as that.
     
  7. QuietPeace

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    No,
    and I am going to bow out of the Tumblr identity discussion. You can use whatever label that you want to use, I personally believe that labels are supposed to be for communicating and reducing confusion.
     
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  8. IoI

    IoI
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    Okay thank you, you helped me out a ton! <3
     
  9. chicodeoro

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    Lol....take a deep breath. Does any of this matter? I mean, right now?

    You don't need to find the answers today, or tomorrow, or next week. There is so much to be said for just waiting. And thinking. And then gradually feeling your way to where you feel comfortable in terms of your gender and sexuality.

    More important questions I'd say are do you have people around you in real life who know and love and support you as you?

    Anyroad, that's my tuppence' worth.

    Beth x
     
  10. IoI

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    Oh wow, thank you Beth. this made me realize that i dont need to have a label right now! Thank you <3
     
  11. sojabohnenfeld

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    In my opinion, this definition is homophobic, but you will probably hear varying opinions on this. Lesbian is a woman attracted to other women, just like gay is a man attracted to other men, and there is no need to change this. I am gay and I personally find that definition offensive, but, that being said, many lesbian and gay people do identify as nonbinary, so some kind of change in our labelling is needed I am just very apprehensive and I know many other people are too.
     
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  12. IoI

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    Oh okay, sorry if I offended you in any way, I was kinda hoping for someone to tell me if thats what lesbian actually meant. Thank you!
     
  13. sojabohnenfeld

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    Well yes but also no. Don't be sorry! I know this may be really confusing but people on the internet kind of argue about this a lot but the traditional definition is definitely very simple.
     
  14. QuietPeace

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    I am a little confused that you accept it when a gay man tells you that lesbian means a woman who is attracted to women but refused to accept it when I a woman who identified as lesbian for years and who has had many female friends who identified as lesbian tell you the same thing.

     
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