So, I made this account 8 years ago, back in 2013. I haven't returned since. I just remembered today that I had this account. Couldn't remember any of my information or what had happened. Dealing with some pretty gnarly PTSD, I just had a "rude awakening" that year. "Psychosomatic Amnesia". I had blocked everything out from my past. I read a book one week, it was a novel about an abused child and his gay friend and it triggered something in me. It awakened that 20-year old beast inside of me. There was a horrible storm whipping up inside of me. The last 8 years have been a living nightmare. Heroin/Alcohol addiction, self-harm and a few rehabs/ psych units later... Here I am again. I'm back. It was a horrifying time these last near decade. Looking back at my old posts from 2013 I can see the beginning of my downfall... it's like opening up a time-capsule. This entire time I have been hiding some very dark, emotional secrets deep in the subcockals of my mind. I sorta hinted at it through a few different posts, but wow, man... It was a terrifying time and i'm surprised that I still have an account here. I'm finally on track again. 8 years later I'm finally going through trauma therapy. I have a decent job that I'm actually able to hold down for the first time in 20 years. I'm much healthier than I was many years ago... even a year ago. It's been a hell of a ride, man. I don't remember anybody here but I'm wondering if any of the old people that I spoke to all those years ago are still here or not.
Welcome back! Glad to hear that you're working with a therapist to sort through your feelings. It sounds like you've been through so much. I'm sure you've learned a lot from those experiences, even the bad ones. Thanks for coming back to see EC. Things have changed a bit since then (new look, some new staff, new 'regulars' on the forum), but the purpose of the organization hasn't changed. Hope you're doing well, and hope to see you around the forum. Keep us posted on how you're doing, if you feel so inclined.
Yes, thank you. I completely fell off the face of the earth for a while, there. It wasn't a good time but I survived, shockingly. I hope that I'm able to help other LGBT+ people on here that deal with PTSD. It's one thing that really gives me a sense of purpose. The past 20 years have been incredibly dark and terrifying but I have survived and there is light at the end of the tunnel, finally. I had absolutely no hope at the time. I was ready to die but now life is improving. There are still some pretty dark days. I still often have to "deal with it" but it's not nearly as bad as it was, even last year and I hope to give other people here some hope.
There's a lot of people out there that deal with terrible pasts who have no hope for life at this point and I would really like to connect with them. The last 2 decades of my life I have lived in total darkness. It's been filled with terror, hopelessness, loneliness, grief and searing anger. I hope that I'm able to reach out and touch people whom have been through similar experiences that I had.
Shadowsetter.....Hello and a very big LGBTQ+ welcome to Empty Closets. We are very glad that you have come back to EC! We hope that we can help you and that you can help others that are going through the same kind of things that you have. You mentioned Psychosomatic Amnesia...I went through a very difficult time when I was in my early twenties and ultimately blocked it completely out of my memory for over 40 years. When I finally recovered those memories it was a very difficult time. However, this time around I had the help of Empty Closets and a very good therapist. It wasn't easy, but I got through it and now I am glad that I have that part of my life back. I can understand the effect that something of that nature can have on a person. We will try our best to help you in any way that we can...just ask! Check out the SubForums as they have changed since you were here before...don't hesitate to join in the conversations. Remember...you are a part of our LGBTQ+ Family and we do care! .....David
Hi there, thank you. I'm very glad that I'm not the only one who has dealt with these sorts of issues. Have we met?? I'm not sure if you were hear when I first joined but, in any case, thank you for the welcome. I look forward to having conversation. Also, I am not familiar with the "sub forums". I have no idea what/ where they are. Heh.
The sub forums are just categories that people can post threads under so that similar topics are organized together. Like on desktop (maybe mobile idk), if you click the house icon in the top left, you'll see a bunch of categories, like chit chat, fun and games or coming out advice. Hopefully that makes sense and what you were asking
Shadowsettler.....I think that @HM03 explained sub-forums pretty well. It's much easier to navigate around the site when it's divided into categories instead of everything jumbled together! As far as being here when you where here before...I don't know. As you can see listed just under my avatar, I joined on December 25, 2014 and I have been on EC continuously ever since. So I guess it depends on when you were last on EC! Anyway...I'm glad that you have come back! .....David
Welcome back. I recently came back here myself after having been off the site for years. Glad to hear you are getting your life on track again!
Hi... your name sounds very familiar. In fact I know we've spoken before because I saw you in my old posts, Lol. and thank you. Life is improving. It's not the best But it's far better and more manageable than before.
@Shadowsettler: Couldn't remember if we'd ever spoken, since its been quite awhile when I was last on here .lol. Welcome. Improving is the good part. Hopefully things will continue to get better for you
and I'm pretty sure we've spoken at least a couple times back in 2013. I believe there was some sort of religious discussion involved but I don't remember much... anyway, thank you for the nice words.
I wasn't sure if the @ thing would work here, so I just tried it to find out! We could easily have spoken I just don't remember .. 2013 was pretty long ago afterall . LOL
Glad you ar Welcome back. Tough 8 years for you. Kudos to you for your raw honesty. Courageous & inspiring.
