I’m out to my Mum and all my friends and my mentor. That’s everyone in my life that matters. So would my status be: Out to all or out to some people? It’s not possible to be out to the entire planet so what does being completely out mean? Is it self acceptance and family and friends knowing and being able to be yourself with out feeling judged? Was just wondering.
I would count being fully out as someone who is open about their sexuality and/or gender to all people who know them or being open to tell anyone who asks. Thus for me I am fully out as demisexual and panromantic, the people who are close to me and who I talk to often know about this and if anyone politely asked me I would be willing to tell them this. On the other hand with my birth assignment I am out only to people who I have lived with or been in a close relationship with. So I have about a half dozen friends who know, my boyfriend, medical professionals and those in government positions who are determining if I can stay in this nation. If the people who I play games with or spend other time with asked either directly about my birth assignment or asked if I were trans etc I would not tell them and thus for this I am only out to a few people.
I think once you genuinely don't care about anyone "finding out" you're out. I only ever had the sit down conversation with my parents and then let the chips fall where they may. Once you genuinely don't care who finds out everyone will know.
I changed mine to "Out to everyone" when I wasn't hiding it anymore. I'd been out to my friends, just come out to my family, and I'd reached the point where I'll casually mention my girlfriend/wife in conversation. And it's still not actually everyone. My grandpa doesn't know because he's early-stage Alzheimer's and no one knows how he'll react if we tell him. I think of "Out to some" as "there's still people in my life that I would like to tell."
I feel like it's being able to be yourself without feeling judged. For me, I'm out to a lot of meaningful people, but around straight people I act very straight. For that reason, I'm really not out to everyone... partly because it's just easier. I really shouldn't be that way though, because it isn't always fun hiding a meaningful part of your life. I'm happy you're out to everyone meaningful in your life. I wish I could be that way soon too.
I agree with this. One of the many unexpected things about this whole process is how endless it is. I'm out to probably half my friends now. But I still have the other half to go, plus acquaintances, neighbours and, of course, my stepson. But even after that - especially if one is coming out in terms of sexuality - it doesn't end. Because there is still the default presumption of heterosexuality in western societies there will occasionally still be awkward moments in which you have to inform people politely. Wouldn't it be wonderful if one day (maybe) we didn't have to go through all this?
Everyone so far has covered how I'd define it: being out to all the people that you know in real life, while not hiding it from anyone you missed. That doesn't mean blurting it out at random, but that if the topic presents itself or someone else off-handedly mentions your orientation in front of someone who doesn't know, you don't feel the need to hide it. In my case, I came out in two stages. The first stage had the potential to be seen by more people, but the second focused more on people I know in real life so was guaranteed to reach most of them (only likely missing anyone who doesn't spend much time on the platform in question, or those I didn't have on my friend list at the time). I don't plan on announcing it to new acquaintances or old friends I've come back into contact with unless I can do so organically. But otherwise, I won't hide it.
