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Can my ocd make this?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Sadness, Apr 17, 2021.

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  1. Sadness

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    Why there are times when for some reason i feel like i would get hard looking at males parts, even if ost of the times is just some tinglings, and times where i look and feel conpletely disgusted by it?

    Can ocd make something like this?
     
  2. Chip

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    Yes, that's how OCD works.
     
  3. Sadness

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    Is so sad to have ocd, why the feeling seems so real? And why i even sometimes get some erection looking at it before goes flaccid again? Makes thing much more confusing to me.

    Lately ive been looking for therapists but i dont know which one i should choose, and how should i tell my mom about it, it would be weird to suddenly say to my mom "hey mom, take me to a therapist ive been obsessed about being gay and i look at pictures of penis all day to test myself" its strange lol.

    In some weeks ill see my psychiatrist again, i didnt met him last time due to some problems but this time i will have time to talk with him.
     
  4. Chip

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    Let me know what city you're in, there are a couple of therapist networks I am connected to and there might be a couple of recommendations I could offer. OCD is a challenge to treat, and with the severity of OCD that you have, effective medication, at least in the short term, is absolutely necessary. Frankly, if I were in your shoes, I would not be waiting "some weeks" for another appointment to come around. I'd be on the phone pestering the psychiatrist's office every day insisting on getting help. This is the sort of thing that the psychiatrist could talk to you for maybe 10 minutes and make either a dosage or medication change to help solve the problem you're having.

    Therapy is going to be absolutely crucial in the long term.

    Also, have you gotten the book "Brain lock" yet? That's something else you could do immediately to help yourself. At a certain point, it is up to you to take responsibility for actually solving the problem. Asking the same questions (or variations thereof) endlessly is not remotely effective for OCD. I get that it is the OCD itself that is driving the thoughts and the behaviors, and I also know that it is within your capacity to take active steps to start solving the problem.
     
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  5. Sadness

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    Hi chips, sorry, im not from the us, i only put us bc i didnt want to put my real location :slight_smile:.

    Related to my meds i think that they are actually working a lot tbh, since i started taking meds for 2 months i think, i noticed that my anxiety is very very low now, and its really helping me tbh, my reall issue is with the obsessive compulsion part, with my meds now im much more controlled when this situations happens, like i still have anxiety but is not so severe now.

    As i said the compulsive part is where i need to work, but i am now 3 or 4 days without looking at any gay porn and gay images or pebis images and im very happy for that, i still have some mental compulsions that a lot of times are intrusive bur i can manage them, but ngl that i still have this what if im gay going on for a lot of times, and thats what i need to work on i think, like the fact that i watch porn, just a merely scene of a bj from a girls makes me feel weird bc i think im attracted to the guys penis, but like i said i can deal with this a lot better, but they are still there, or the fact that i enjoy transwoman porn mostly bc they are girls with a penis, so those things really keep making the obsessive part worse.

    I will find a therapist and i hope all this get better, even if i discover that im in fact gay or bi, bc i saw that are people with ocd that are gay too.

    About the book i havent had the opportunity to buy yet, i dont have money for it now lol, but what is the book about
     
  6. Chip

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    The book is specifically about the OCD issues you are dealing with, and how to work with them.

    Medication should not just be addressing anxiety. You clearly have a severe issue with OCD, and there are effective medications that control the obsessive behaviors and intrusive thoughts. THAT is why we keep pestering you to talk to your psychiatrist TODAY, not next week or next month or in a few months from now. Your psychiatrist should be able to either adjust your medication or put you on a different medication to manage the OCD symptoms you are having.

    I am not interested in discussing, debating, or justifying it, but I feel confident in saying that you aren't gay, that it is your OCD that is creating those thoughts in you. THAT is why you need help.
     
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  7. Sadness

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    Hi chips.

    Oh really? So this book is such a help omg ill buy it asap.

    Wait there are medications that can help with behaviours? Omg this is the best thing i heard in the week, so good to know about that i will talk to my psychiatrist about this and see what he can do and if i can get one of these, and will search for help with a good therapist, is good talking to you but i knowi should talk to a specialist. And i wish it will help me, like today i felt this real urge to masturbate to a gay fantasy to see if it would arouse me as much as my straight do. Today i masturbated to a girl that i always like some years ago and it felt good but i wasnt so aroused, my fantasies dont arouse me so much, maybe bc my huge use of pornography, and than this urge came in my head, but i controlled, i remeber how many times i did this, so i calmed myself and i didnt do , so im happy that i fight it for the first time, but im still kind afraid of this thing of not getting very aroused to my straight fantasies. You are gay, you talked about this with a lot of people, and youve been here for a long time, so i trust you when you say this.

    I will find courage to talk to my mom about getting a therapist. Thank you :slight_smile:
     
  8. Chip

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    You're welcome. You so much deserve decent medical care and to get the help you need.
     
  9. Sadness

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    Thank you so much chip. :slight_smile:

    Not wanting to bother you but, would this feeling of a flick in my heart whenever i see a new dude fall onto the ocd thing too? I think the situation is very laughble bc most of the times i cant even take time to look at the guys face to see if hes handsome and i just feel this flick in my heart and my breaths kind go faster, i remeber one day when i litererally only saw the guys hair and felt that, and today when talking to a friend via videochat he showed his friend that i never saw and i looked at him and in seconds i felt that, and got very nervous, after i noticed i sweated too. So, should i put this on the ocd thing or is something else? Maybe fear or anything like it, bc i dont think attraction cause this kind of reaction lol.
     
  10. Chip

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    Yup, that's your OCD. ALL of the things you are describing are your OCD.
     
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  11. quebec

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    Sadness.....There really are meds that can help a lot with OCD. I take a medication that is specifically for my OCD and it has reduced my intrusive/obsessive thoughts and actions by about 65-70%. With the added help of my therapist it's about 85% or so reduced. It's not gone, but it's so much less that I can live a pretty normal life. Please do your best to get on the right medication and find a therapist who can help you and please don't wait any longer.
    .....David :gay_pride-flag:
     
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  12. Vega222

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    I usually can't stop thinking about the things I encounter, until the end of the day or even more longer. Sometimes someone ask me something really trivial and I spend the whole day thinking, web surfing about it. Can't stop it and clear my mind and be productive that day. Is it possibly something related to OCD? This is one of my biggest problems. Lack of focus and getting easily distracted.

    Till I saw this thread I was considering my problem as a kind of excessive daydreaming and overthinking. But maybe OCD has some role too.

    PS I realised I do have some kinds of OCD. Like when I want to go out I check the lock too many times, etc. But this is not bothering me much.
     
    #12 Vega222, Apr 26, 2021
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2021
  13. quebec

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    Vega.....Yes, what you describe sounds like OCD. You really should see a professional and talk to them about it! :old_smile:
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  14. Sadness

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    Thank you chip. :slight_smile:

    Im so happy that you are feeling way better with your ocd, i will take meds that help with my compulsions like mental test and all. Thank you david :slight_smile:

    Yeah this os very much ocd really, i can asure you that bc most of the things you said im going through too, like unable to stop thinking about something and overanalysing overthinking, i have the conpulsion part too, where i keep checking and testing things in order to satisfy my anxiety.
     
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  15. Sadness

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    And i just want to say something, i know this is nothing but i feel happy about myself bc of it. Im 1 week without any chdcking related to naked men, or their privates images, or nude, or gay porn, and i feel a lot happier, i know is not only this but i think this testing had a good portion of my anxiety in it, and im feeling much better without it.

    What i should stop is the menta tests and the intrusive thoughts and overthinking. Thats my challenge now. Unfortunately there are times qhen i test mentally myself like i did myself today, but yeah the same of evertime, felt some feeling, maybe some movements but at some point it would get falccid.

    But i used to test 10x more a day mostlt bc of gay porn and pictures, this week i tested maybe 3 or 4 times, so for me is a win already.

    Thank you guys for all your support :slight_smile:
     
  16. Vega222

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    Many times I see something from people I can't understand. As an example, some people have a spelling mistake on their country name. I would wonder how they see it before their eyes through years and they can be careless about it and relax. I wouldn't be able to let it be for a minute! My mind would lock on it until I fix it. Now, It seems that I am the unnormal one, not them. Very unnormal I'd say! I often edit my posts after posting them, many times. Again, no one is like that. This things makes me suffer.

    But the worst is when I get distracted the whole day and can't focus on what I want (my job most of the times). Whatever the cause is, I'm blunt to say it's possibly the biggest problem I have.
     
    #16 Vega222, Apr 26, 2021
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2021
  17. Chip

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    Sadness, I'm glad to see you are feeling better. Don't let that stop you from being assertive in asking for help getting more effective medication, and from finding a therapist and getting the book, because those will be important. OCD, as with most brain disorders, can come and go, and the problem is, it can be difficult to know when your OCD is affecting you. So the sooner you get real help, the better your day-to-day existence will be.

    Vega 222, what you are describing sounds like it could fit into a couple of different diagnoses, and in any case, no one is qualified to diagnose someone over the internet based on a few posts. But suffice it to say, you have enough going on that it's near certain there's a mental health issue that you will need help and support (and possibly medication) in order to address.
     
    #17 Chip, Apr 27, 2021
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2021
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  18. Sadness

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    Yeah i understand that, there are days where i cant focus and i feel so bad bc i waste my day only think this, and i overthink so much about this that my whole week gets boring bc of that. But there are medications that can help with this too.
     
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  19. Sadness

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    Hi thanks, yeah im feeling much better, there are things that keep me stuck, i talked to my psychiatrist and i will change my medicines and i will talk to him about maybe taking new meds that help with compulsions.

    I still have to figure out how to deal with mental tests, today i tested about kissing a guy, and im feeling so bad about this now, bc is always the same feeling, i saw my post i did like last month and its the same thing lol, i did this test kissing this guy and i felt such a rush in my body with my heart beating so fast, and was feeling this tingling in my penis and all, even when feeling like disgusted at some point, oh my god is the same thing that it was the last time i posted, i only noticed now lol.

    So this i really dont know, i dont get hard so i say i dont like it, but i know the feeling is strong, im taking this as something related to ocd, dont know if it really is, maybe i will only know when i kiss a guy again lol.

    So i had a full day with this test and i feel bad now, dont know what it means, but i assume is only ocd, since i didnt get hard, only tingling.

    And now with this new meds thats coming i hope it will help me more now, and im still searching for a therapist, hope he can help deal with all this.

    But shit having this tests only made my day worse. I assume most of you guys when think about kissing someone you get aroused, its natural, so i keep saying in my head like, its ocd, its ocd, im not aroused, its anxiety that makes me feel like this. Unfortunatelly it doesnt help a lot )
     
  20. Chip

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    The thing to try and keep in mind is that it is OCD. But you are right, it's like telling someone to think their way out of diarrhea. I hope you get meds soon, and can find the book.
     
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