I’m 18 and have Had a gf for almost 18 months now and I love her dearly and mostly have a very good sex life, but I keep having nagging doubts that I am gay. These sorta started when the first few times I had sex I was unable to maintain an erection, and then once I was able to do that I suffered from delayed ejaculation such that I had to finish myself off. These issues are not a problem now as I stopped watching porn although I do sometimes suffer from ED if I’m tired or stressed or we have had an argument. I’m gonna go to the doctors to determine whether this past problem was for any physical reason or a psychological reason like performance anxiety or anything like that. These slight nagging doubts of being gay bc of these sexual dysfunctions cause me great anxiety but this anxiety is only exacerbated by the checking process where I perhaps watch gay porn to see if I become aroused (as a side note I don’t really get erections without stimulation so that’s never an obvious sign) but I find it difficult to discriminate between feelings of anxiety and arousal such that I force myself to think about it again or check again using porn. Occasionally I am able to reach climax to gay porn but not as reliably as I do with straight porn and never with as strong an erection My question is what do people think? I know people cannot say whether I am gay but idk whether I should tell/break up with my girlfriend, go to my doctor, experiment more generally etc etc. I must say I’ve never had a crush on a boy that I can remember, hence why I’m so old doing this. I can’t think of anyone I’d want to experiment with tbh, idek if id want to I just am so anxious about it all the time I feel like getting many packs of paracetamol haha. I used to fancy TinTin in thunderbirds film and get weird feelings which I now recognise as arousal when Violet swelled up in Willy Wonka and when Shaggy turned into the woman in scooby Doo 2 haha. Both strange but I’m
Hello! I'm really sorry you're going through such a tough time! Honestly, we have seen these sorts of threads quite often around here! While nobody can say for sure what your sexuality might be, a lot of the symptoms you describe are quite similar to obsessive compulsive behaviour - constantly checking for example. People will also tell you that porn isn't really a good indicator of sexual attraction, it's designed to be stimulating or shocking. If it helps, gay/bi/queer people as a rule don't have to force themselves into situations to be attracted to the same gender - they usually have natural attraction towards them, whether that be physical, emotional or both. I think honestly, you're clearly suffering from some really bad anxiety right now and that's probably clouding your thoughts on the subject. I think it's an excellent idea to see a doctor and maybe mention that you have these repetitive thoughts like "am I gay?" when in fact, there's no evidence to assume that (from anything you've said). Not that there's anything wrong with not being 100% straight of course: there's a big spectrum between "straight" and "gay", but the most important thing is that it's a case of what comes naturally to you - it's not something you discover by forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations just to see what happens. But truthfully I think what you've said indicates to me that your mental health might be playing a big factor here rather than your sexuality or physical problems (lets face it, psychological and physiological problems are very often interlinked). The most important thing to remember is that you'll be okay. You're not the only one to go through any of this! It's horrible to have to go through such bad anxiety and self-doubt! You can and will get through the other side and feel more at peace with yourself, but I think seeing if you can get some help with your mental health is the first step. Edit: You've lost me at Shaggy turning into a woman though
I think Spartan said it best. I do not get any indication by what you said that would make me think your gay. If anything I would say bi curious at best. I think in your case yours is more of a mental issue, but i am not a professional and its best to see a dr. Watching gay porn does not make you gay, like i said just curious. It doesnt seem like you really have a desire to be with a mam physically or emotionally. I know with me being bi, i definitely have a physical desire to be with another man whereas with women its physically and enotionally. Bi is best btw lol jk im a little bias. As a side note, if you are on certain meds they can cause a delay in orgasm or not to be able to reach orgasm. Best of luck!
