hi so IM NOT 20 FOR SOME REASON I PRESSED THE WRONG THING AND IT MADE ME 20 i am 14 anyways ever since i could remember ive been around boys, like i grew up with my guy cousins, and from the ages of 1-4 i just sorta thought i was a dude i guess like there wasnt anything that differed me from them other then my long hair i wore guys clothes and just grew up as one of them. the older i got the less i wanted to be a girl i would refuse to wear dresses and cut my long hair myself (resulting in a shitty mullet b/c i was afraid to cut the back) but around 8 i was just like.... ok I guess I'm a girl cause i dont have a shlong and i've sort of been rolling with that for a while. up until like 5 months ago i wanted to be a girl but then i fell back into the patteren ive always had of cutting my hair shorter and shorter and shorter and shorter and when anyone thinks I am a dude it makes me so happy like I just want to be a cis person I wish i liked being a girl or I wish i was born a guy I really dont know what to do what if one day i go back to liking being a girl? this feeling of wanting to be a guy always comes back. but the thing is i dont want to be a MAN like i dont want to be some weird hairy grunting asshat i just want to be a boy IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT what do u guys think i should do i literally have 0 friends to ask this shit to
Welcome to EC. An admin will be able to correct your age. No one else can or should actually tell you who you are but we can help you explore the possibilities. To address a few of the things that you have said Some women do, your identity does not have to align with the body you are born into. The part about hair is really just stereotyping, my boyfriend is cis male and has longer hair than I do - much longer. The part of feeling really good when perceived as male indicates more. The euphoria we feel when people accept us or treat us as who we see ourselves as says a lot. Sadly we do not get to pick our genetics or how our bodies are built or who we really are inside. We have to work with what we have. If you really would be more content living as male then transition might be a good option for you. Though it is really difficult to live opposing society that way. Men do not have to be toxic, my boyfriend is not and that is a big part of why I am with him. If you really are male then while living as a man you could set an example of what it means to be a decent nontoxic person AND male. There is a thread here where you can experiment with pronouns and names, if you find that being addressed as male gives you a euphoric feeling then that is a good indicator and you might then want to think more about living that way. It is a process that takes time and there are checks on the way to make sure that it is the right option for you should you choose to pursue it.
