So I’m just gonna go on a tangent for a bit here because I often get anxious, disgusted, confused, etc. So on Sunday morning typically around 11:30-12ish it can be a curse, because being misgendered constantly and wearing uncomfortable clothing wasn’t enough. And specifically, I’m talking about the last service I went to with my parents. They’re not accepting and I know how they would react like the back of my hand if they found out that people called me my preferred name, but this service was just..... disgusting. The topic was ‘the elephant in the room, gender confusion’ and they discussed things ‘truthfully’ by saying “a seed of rejection is planted into your child, be it divorce, bullying, so on. That seed causes insecurities, and defense mechanisms, and they reject themselves. For example, my daughter in 7th grade experienced a ‘boy’ in her class putting on a dress because he felt like a girl and everyone clapped”. The pastor gave a disappointed look around the room and in the moment I just felt more eyes on me. “My daughter in law was wounded by the divorce she experienced when she was a small child and came into sin in a same sex relationship, and she got healed when she turned to god”. There are probably other examples that they mentioned in previous services but typing that was a challenge. So according to them basically, emotional rejection is the cause of trans people/gender non-conforming people and coming to god is the answer to ‘wash it away’. Also they said god affirms your gender? And they also took scriptures out of context and feels out of place in those instances. If you read through all of this, thanks so much, and all of you are troopers through out anxiety and doubt.
Sadly, bigots can always find bible verses out of context to support literally anything they want to sell. Jerry Falwell, one of the most vocal Christian bigots of the 20th century, was on record in the 1950s quoting Bible verses to justify that integrating black kids and white kids together in the same school was ungodly. Basically, ignorance is everywhere, and because most of the ignorant folks also lack any capacity for critical thinking and analysis, having conversations to attempt to influence their thinking is often pretty close to pointless. The good news is, if religion is important to you, there are increasingly many parts of the country where you can find churches that are accepting and welcoming of LGBT people. It may seem like a long time from now, but before too long, you'll be old enough to choose your own church (if you decide to continue going to church), choose the friends you want, and make choices about what sort of interactions you want to have with family members that aren't supportive.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I do not think that asking for support or talking about this is you going on a tangent, I think that reaching out for support here in such a situation is essential. I grew up in a bigoted and rejecting family and we attended an extremist borderline cult congregation so I know how much it can hurt. For me once I was able to get away from them and started living as my true self I just avoided as much contact as I could. I know that the wait hurts and that the time seems like an eternity but it is possible to survive it. One thing I did do was spend a lot of time crying alone in my room, crying does help.
Thanks guys, yeah I’m sure there are churches/groups that are accepting and open minded in some places? There is this YouTube channel called Angel & Nicole and they go into their own faith and other gender related things. In one of their vids they explained that god doesn’t care about gender because he created man, woman, intersex and everything in between and that’s not part of the big picture anyway. I would show that to my parents (my dad especially) but they would probably just take my phone away for awhile and put more restrictions.
Hi AuggB, If you are not safe revealing stuff to your parents (such as punishment of having your phone taken away), don’t do it now. If you want to read LGBTQ-positive books about religion being reinterpreted, there are good authors out there: Justin Lee, Matthew Vines, and Austin Hartke (a trans book I have not yet read), for example.
