Hi all this is my first post here So im feeling a bit crap at the moment, ive been looking for dates/relationship for about 3years on various apps but ive only had 1 date ( July 2019 ), the date went well but we decided that we'd remain friends, we carried on talking daily throughout lockdown until Christmas 2020 when he ghosted me for no reason and ive not heard from him since. I also have my best mate, hes straight and 5 years older than me and has had a string of relationships ( with women ) hes been married, had kids and been divorced basically done it all. We signed him up for Facebook recently and within days hes got 2 date offers and I can't help but feel a little jealous, I know I shouldn't compare but im 34 this year, ive never had a relationship and its starting to feel like I never will. I wish I was straight because I feel it would make thing so much easier but I know that thinking this way is no good for my mental health but i cant help it at the moment i just want to experience what my straight friends experience so easily.
Hi Wonkey87, First, welcome to EC! I see from your "Out Status" that you are not out at all. I think one of the reasons your friend is able to date easily might be due to the fact that he is able to openly date, and isn't hiding it. It's difficult to date someone if your relationship has to be hidden. Can I ask what is keeping you from coming out? Being authentic with people, and showing your true self to them, feeling comfortable in your own skin, will all make you much more attractive to other guys.
Welcome to EC First comparing yourself to anyone is not a good idea. You are you and you will never be anyone else. Being straight does not magically get you dates or a relationship. I am wondering if you might benefit from seeing a therapist. I do agree with @I'm gay that being out would assist in the search process. I do not use dating sites/apps those things never worked for me and it got disheartening. What has worked for me was to spend time doing things that I like and that puts me around people that I have things in common with. From there I develop friendships and on occasional times in my life those developed into a relationship. I met my current boyfriend in a group for people who play games. We moved from that to talking and then watching movies together and finally we got into a relationship. I met him in fall of 2018, we got closer in spring of 2020 and were in a relationship by Sep 2020 (I detail this to show you how much I had to invest in order to get the relationship).
