Hi everyone, I'm 39 years old and from the Netherlands, I've been bisexual since as long as I can remember, but since I'm married to a men (and have had no real romantic relationships with other people before my marriage), I've never been active in the community. As I'm getting older I realize that I really miss that part of myself, I've always been more attracted to woman on a physical level and somehow feel that I'm missing out. My main reason for applying to this forum however is a different one: I am really struggling with my gender identity... I've never really felt like a woman and as a kid I felt more like a boy ( I'm female by birth) As I got older I started embracing femininity more, but it was more as an interesting novelty, an act, a way to broaden my horizon, it never really felt right and it still doesn't but I have always had to much doubt about my genderidentity to truely embrace it... I definetly don't feel very female but I also don't feel completely male and I really don't like the thought of altering my body, this is my body... it isn't the body that feel wrong but the female identity. For years I have sort of lost myself, I didn't know who I was anymore but lately I have felt more like myself again and try to live by it a little more all the time. I'm really unsure about the future though... I have responsybillities to people around me and don't want to burn my bridges behind me anyway, but I'm not sure how to incorperate my true identity (of which I am still very unsure) into my life... This post is getting a bit long for a getting to know you post haha. A few other things about me: I believe I have ASD, I have not been officialy diagnosed but it has been suggested by doctors when I was a child and it runs in my family quite strongely, so if I say/write something that seems socially not very acceptable or akward I probably don't mean it that way I love making things and try all kinds of creative stuff all the time. My worldview is animistic, I love nature and feel that everything in the cosmos is connected and alive. I would consider myself pagan, but I don't worship any deities, I worship nature and all it's spirits/beings as a whole. I guess that's it for now, hope I don't sound like to much of a weirdo. I'm looking forward to being a part of this forum, I probably won't post everyday since I do not have a lot of spare time. Thanks for accepting me in advance
Digdogger.....Hello and a great big LGBTQ+ welcome to Empty Closets! There is a sub-forum here on EC that is titled "Gender Identity and Expression". If you post there I think you'll find people who will understand how you feel and will be able to offer support and understanding! We are so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets! .....David
Hi there. First of all let me tell you you aren’t alone! I married a wonderful guy when I was 20. At 38 I couldn’t cope any longer and came out to him and my family and friends as bisexual, but I also felt like you do. I was so confused about my gender. I felt like a guy but that thought terrified me. I couldn’t find a label because I still had so many feminine traits. Transitioning is something that wouldn’t be possible for me for many reasons and whilst I do get dysphoric days I’ve accepted the body I’m in. I’m 51 now. I now identify as non binary. I’m also into nature and spirit and live in rural Scotland. I spend my time wondering around the countryside, the beaches, painting pictures and playing the keyboard... oh and crocheting! I’m glad you joined. You’ll feel less alone and you’ll find some understanding friends too.
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone Especially thanks to suitsme for sharing your experience, it does make me feel a bit less alone in what I'm going through atm. elli0x, I've never been to scotland but I've seen pictures and agree with you, I'd love to go there someday!
Yes I like the Netherlands too *-* I know some Dutch songs, I like Dutch language and the way it sounds
Holland is ok, but to be honest I would rather live somewhere else. Holland is very flat and I like mountains also nature is very cultivated in the Netherlands... I would like to live somewhere where nature is wild and where there is a lot of space to roam through the forrest and live in a self sufficiënt way without having to be bothered with Petty bureaucratic laws etc.
Ah I see Mountains are nice too I don't like warm countries :/ I live in a warm country but I don't like hot summer.
I can imagine, I'm not a big fan of heath myself, I like the mediterrenean climate though... not to mention the delicious food
You’re very welcome. I do hope you get to see Scotland one day. If you love the mountains, you will love the Highlands. Particularly Glencoe.
Warm welcomes from all corners of the corners of Empty Closets! And you might find that Empty Closets is different from all the other social media sites for one reason... No one is tribal, judgemental, or hurtful. No one knows why, but it's a miracle we must cherish.
