I know porn doesn't mean anything when it comes to someone's sexual orientation, but my question is kind of the opposite. I hope it makes sense. So, when I watch straight or lesbian porn I get aroused and when I fantasize about having sex with a woman I get aroused as well. On the other hand, when I watch gay porn (a guy giving another guy oral, for example) I don't get aroused. However, when I fantasize about giving a guy oral and having sex with him I get very aroused. Does anyone have any idea what this means or has the same experience? Simply put, why doesn't gay porn arouse me, but fantasizing about having sex with a guy does? What could it mean? Again, I hope this makes sense.
I think it does, at least the way I relate. I think it may speak to how you perceive yourself, or at least that's what I think it is for me (which by the way is by no means crystal clear to me). Looking at nude men and women solo is arousing in real life, fantasy and porn. Straight sex is arousing in real life (I have only had straight sex in real life) but not in porn or fantasy. MTF trans sex (male on trans woman) is arousing in porn and fantasy (in fantasy I am a submissive trans). Here is where it gets more complicated - Gay oral is not arousing in porn but it is in fantasy. Gay sex is arousing in fantasy (I am a participant who is on the receiving end in sex, giving oral, and in overall cuddling), but is only arousing in porn when there are no faces or when you don't see the face of the recipient (which is probably why gay oral in porn is not arousing) - but I am fine with faces in sensual cuddling or touch. I think for me, it comes down to how I perceive myself (or my confusion about myself) in gay sex or in male on trans female. I am always the recipient, submissive, caring party so I am only looking at the man, but never seeing my own face (while I see my face as a trans, it looks different from real life). Coming full circle, I think for me it may be because of my gender confusion - but there is a lot to unpack there. Sorry for the ramble - hopefully helps a little.
it could be what's being portrayed in pornography doesn't arouse you like the fantasy for example: not your type of guy, not the right emotional setting.
I feel the same there has to be a female part , wether you look at her or you are her I feel it’s like the difference between looking at a Ferrari from the outside or driving it from the inside perspective ... some sports are horrible to watch but super fun to play )
Lots of unattractive guys in gay porn too I just say , but everyonce in a while ...I mostly stick to straight porn when I do.
I probably watch straight porn around 35% of the time (about 1/4th of the time I'm fantasizing about being the woman), lesbian porn also 35% of the time (not fantasizing about being female at all) and gay porn 30% of the time. I'm definitely a cisgender bisexual male, but I am more attracted to women than men without a doubt.
After being a heavy user of porn it’s taken a while for me to even be sure of my natural fantasies, my brain just naturally went to a porn scene. Gradually it’s coming back, my own fantasies are much more gentle, real and loving.
I understand this, i am a heavy user of porn. And even if my fantasies with women arouses me, i cant masturbate to them, porn took all of my fantasies.
Porn seems to have diminished my fantasies as well. I'm going to try and slow down and see if they increase and become more realistic, gentle, caring, etc. like @Mike riely mentioned.
Yes i can, and i do. What i said is that even if my straght fantasies arouses me, i cant reach the climax, im such a heavy porn user that i need porn to reach climax, only with my fantasies can be very hard sometimes.
