What Is Your Sexual Orientation?

It is slightly frustrating to not know whether I am bi or lesbian.

 

Did somebody say old?

 

So I have no clue what I am, I thought I was bisexual, but now I don't really know. It feels like I have sexual desires for both, but I don't find anyone attractive anymore and I don't want to do anything with anyone. Thinking about that stuff makes me dissociate.

 

I'm afab and 27, I have a sex drive though. I just get extremely uncomfortable doing anything intimate and I feel like I'm being forced each time.

 

Dissociating is something that is normally associated with trauma. You should work through this with your therapist. If after working it through you decide that you still are not interested in being sexual with anyone then that is fine.

 

I'm treatment resistant with therapy as it worsens my conditions, I've tried for years and years but I just get worse. I'm looking into trauma therapy now hoping it will lessen what I feel in some way.

 

As for representation,

from what I have read is that a majority (around 80% or more) of bisexual men don’t come out and end up only dating women.


For many who are bi is is much easier to date the opposite sex. Obviously societies negative view of homosexuality is a big part of it.

Even though today the youngest generation is much more accepting, older generations/people are not.

Just spend some time hanging around or working with guys who are in their mid thirties and up who think you are straight. They are far from understanding. It might not be so bad working in tech, sales and etc, but people working in construction, maintenance and manual labor are still pretty old fashioned in their thinking,even though most of them are liberal union members.


Now if you can get past the issues above you have to deal with the same sex dating pool being less than 1/20 of the opposite sex. If you have a choice would you not go where you are 20 times more likely to succeed.



What is my sexual orientation?


Emotional bonding and commitment have always been a priority over sex for me. Not that I don’t like sex, its just not the most important thing. Its in my personality to be that way. Most guys irregardless of sexual orientation seem to be focused on sex. That doesn’t work for me.

I have always found women to be much easier to talk to, connect with, bond with and visually more sexually attractive and beautiful. Connecting and relating with guys has always been very difficult for me. Just being friends with a guy is a challenge.


My sexual desires and fantasies don’t have much of a direction. I can be aroused and turned on by thinking of or watching porn of either. But I have only ever crushed on and fallen in love with women. With women friendships can go to the next level.

With a loving committed relationship sex is making love, without that deep friendship sex is just getting off.

Women fit both parts, where guys don’t.


If I can’t see someone as a friend then how could I see them as a lover?


The more I think about it, the more using the label bisexual seems inauthentic, even here on EC. I have never used a label outside of here and probably never will.
While I joined EC to learn more, outside of here I didn’t see any reason to say anything to anyone. Most people are too black and white in their thinking to get it anyway.