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Is Anyone Else Filled With Doubt?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Bob777, Feb 9, 2021.

  1. Bob777

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    Hi, I've been questioning my gender for most of my life and the thing that constantly stops me from pursuing any kind of transition is doubt. I know deep to my core that I was born in the wrong gender and I know that dysphoria has a incredibly negative impact on me, causing depression and suicidality, but I can't shake the doubt, I always end up saying "what if I'm not trans enough". So I wanted to ask, if you've managed to overcome the doubt, how? And do you have any advice for people still struggling with it?
     
  2. QuietPeace

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    Welcome to EC. I never had doubts that I was a little girl who then grew up to be a woman, despite being assigned male at birth. My doubts were all around whether or not I could actually be accepted for who I really am.

    Two things.

    If you are someone who needs to live other than in your birth assignment that is enough, there is no real measurement of "trans enough"

    You said
    This really seems to indicate to me that you would seriously benefit from living as other than your birth assignment. In fact in talking about it making you suicidal it seems necessary not just beneficial. Can you talk to your physician and get a reference to the closest trans clinic, I believe that it would help.
     
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  3. BradThePug

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    Doubt is a normal part of the process. Being transgender can be a very hard thing to accept, because it is something that is looked down upon in our society. The idea of being "trans enough" is something that a lot of us have felt at one point or another. It is a different way of that doubt creeping in. For me, I just slowly started to do things that made me more comfortable. I would do small things that I could easily change back if I did not like it. I agree about looking for some resources in your area. They can help you work through that doubt as well.
     
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  4. EriRED

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    Hi, everyone, this is a whole new world for me. But if I may Bob777, I like to add my experience, the little I have. I am like you, the one who look in the mirror and know that something is not right, sometimes in surprised mood, sometimes in a state of a deep sadness. I have doubts, of course, we are humas, we are made of doubts. This doubts I think comes from two sources, at least for me. First, when you are born you are assigned a male or female body, this is a solid material evidence that society use to treat us in a gender binary way. But then your head is saying another thing, your head is saying that your character, your ways, your manners, the way you think, the things you like, are definitely female, thus not in line with your current body. So you have in one hand, your body, a whole society modeled in a binary gender way, and all the persons of your life treating you like a male and, in the other hand you have all this things, all this feelings, that are all in your head!!! Of course there is doubts, but in my case they go as fast as they come. I am Trans enough? I dont know I dont care, I know who I am, and Im not rushing towards some label. Take your time, you dont need to do anything if you dont want. I recommend you professional help for the dysphoria, is really hard at some levels... you are allways in what I call "a state of permanent broken heart". I feel for you, I am in that state too. Take your time, seek help, and dont forget you are not alone. Love!
     
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  5. chicodeoro

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    Hi Bob,

    I think doubt is absolutely natural, simply because gender is such a huge thing in our society. Coming out as a different gender and transitioning is a completely different kettle of fish to coming out in terms of your sexuality. It would be weird if you didn't have some doubts!

    I still have them myself. I think talking to other trans people on helplines helped simply because I realised that many of them had exactly the same experiences as I had had. Also when someone used my new name for the first time - my whole body was filled with such joy and euphoria it was like a rubicon had been crossed. I felt happy and content and couldn't stop smiling! That alone answered many of the doubts I had.

    Beth
     
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  6. EriRED

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    That exactly described the moment I knew... doubts come and go but that joy... that joy is how the truth feels like.
     
  7. Bob777

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    Thank you so much everyone!!
    It's been genuinely very reassuring to find out that, not only am I not the only one with doubts, in fact it seems quite common.
    I have taken your advice and contacted a doctor (which is huge for me!) and I know that this won't be easy or quick, but if I can be happy and living as I was meant to, it will be worth it!
     
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