Hello and thanks for reading and replying. I've been thinking about my sexual orientation for at least 3 years, but just don't know exactly what it is. Two years ago I had a boyfriend, in retrospect it probably wasn't love and I was already thinking about how it would be to be with a girl. So far, I've only had something with boys, but I could also imagine something with girls. In fact, I'd really like to get to know a girl better. Now you might think I'm bisexual, but I've never been directly in love or at least not as I imagine myself to be in love with. I wasn't really in love with any gender, and there is currently nobody that I'm into. I only think to myself when I see a person that I find attractive, what it would be like to kiss them or be with them. However, these thoughts usually occupy me only briefly. That's why I find it so difficult to identify myself in any way. Lately, however, the theme has been occupying me more and more and I'm also very interested in everything that deals with the LGBTQ topic (films, books, ...). I've also asked myself whether I'm pansexual, because I find the thought of loving people regardless of their gender the most beautiful, but just because I find the thought the most beautiful doesn't mean that I am pansexual, does it? Somehow it's all very confusing and maybe it's obvious that I'm not straight and I just don't want to fully admit it to myself yet, I just don't know. I feel like I can't talk to any of my friends about it because I don't think any of them understand these doubts. Ok, that has become longer than is thought, I just hope to get some clarity in the chaos of thoughts and am happy about every answer.
Hey there! From me personaly, i think you are pansexual. Don't worry, it strikes me as a beautiful thought too. I'm actually a pansexual myself. For a while, i thought i was bi, but finding the term 'pansexual' online, i felt it was so beautiful and inclusive (This is NOT meant to be offensive to bisexuals in any way; if this offends you, i am very sorry). It may also be that you are an asexual panromantic. do you ever feel sexually atracted to any gender?
Hey thank you very much for your answer! I'm not sure, but you could be right about the pansexual. I don't think I'm asexuel. Sex isn't a particulary imortant topic for me, but I've definitely felt sexually attracted to Dome people
I believe that the labels we use are just for communicating with others and they should not define or limit us. If a label no longer fits or correctly describes our experience then it is fine to change it. "Questioning" is even a fine label if that fits best. Go ahead and experiment and see how you feel about people as you meet and date. Just be open about what you are going through. Eventually you will settle on something that works.
As the above poster said ultimately the label is whatever you feel most comfortable with. If you are looking for something more generic for the moment you could also go with not straight or queer. It can be difficult to decide what you feel most fits you but there is no rush to decide. If you imagine your life in the future does it fit better with a guy or a girl or you dont have a preference.
Thank you both for taking your time and answering me. i think i wanted a label because i've been thinking about this for so long and it would be easier to know. But of course you're right, actually i knew before that you don't need a label, but i think it helped to hear the fact again directly. So thank you and also for showing the other options, i think that will help me.
Can you picture yourself with a woman in the future? (trans or cis) Can you picture yourself with a man? (trans or cis) Can you picture yourself with a genderqueer person? It's worth taking time to picture this. If you can see yourself with all of them, you could be pansexual. Also, which particular genders do you feel sexually atracted to? which ones do you feel romantically/emotionally attracted to?
I personally felt MUCH better having a label. When i first realised i liked girls, i was so confused since i liked boys too. but I didnt want to give way to my feelings, so i tried to deny it a while. when i finally accepted myself, i felt great giving myself a label, knowing i had a community around me and people going through what i was. (this is my opinion PERSONALLY)
Its really common to want a label. I think we all want to feel like we have a description for what we feel and we want to belong to a group of people, especially when we have been figuring things out or at least trying to for such a long time. You will get there I promise. Talking to people on here can really help
